The essence of life spills over me
Overwhelming me with its tranquility
The beautiful tears the world cries
Our morning dew to behold in light
A budding rose is opened,
And a mother coo's delight
A hope is coming tomorrow
And today another blight
Let us pray the heavens open
To receive the wilted rose
And that our children will be angels
Dancing, with blithe and twinkling shows
The younger mind accepts more
The concept of the dream
A maker and creator
Of all living things
What if, God is our dreamer
And we are the dream
That God created almost, unknowingly?
Everything new, thinks its own thoughts
Everyones unique, never to be bought
God could be a rosy-cheecked kid
Much more evolved then we'll ever be
But whatever the reason
We live and we thrive
I love to rise each morning
And say good-bye to the night
If God is in existence
Then was he made to?
Is he a budding rose like me
Free, independent and totally unique?
Maybe God has parents
With bills to pay
Maybe he has friends
That're there to play
But with natures tears
And the early sun
I think I should just enjoy
Living, breathing, and being a hole-in-one
I love to smell the earths scent,
And the wily yellow flowers,
I love to stand in the rain,
As the clouds shower.
Maybe someday God will come down,
With his heavenly angelic crew,
And he’ll perch on a mountain top,
Watching me and my friends too.
I'd wave and smile,
And say 'How do ya do?
And he'll smile back
Like never before I knew
So I'll watch the mountians
And the earthen trees
I'll even watch, the birds and the yellow bees
I'll watch until God comes
Comes and says hello.
Then I'll be off
Into the land where all must someday go.
Author notes
Oh...I'm twelve...Name: Gloria
- The Secret Of The Lord group list • next in list
A contest entry
- LOTS AND LOTS OF POINTS by God is my reality.
900 points, ended October 7, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think about it?
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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This is great and congratulations to you
on your trophy here! Thanks for sharing it!
Jeremy0826 -
A well dererved trophy! This is beautifully written. I am waiting and watching for His return.
GBY
SilverButterfly
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Beautiful
you did a wonderful job on this poem. I loved it very much, I needed to read this. going through a hard time. this made me feel good. great job, you definetely have a gift of writing. I really liked the first stanza of the poem:
The essence of life spills over me,
Overwhelming me with it's tranquility,
The beautiful tears the world cries,
Our morning dew to behold in light
thank you for sharing this beautiful poem
Kat
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It is penned so beautifully, you have a gift, hold on to it.... it has such delicacy and hope laced in and out of every stanza
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great write Gloria! what a beautiful vision.
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:)
Awww sweetie this is such a wonderfully penned poem and I really love the subject of the poem as well. you really penned this quite ebautifully and told it like it is. you bring a messag eof hope and it shines down upon us all reminding us that God is watching over us and he loves us all. any ways I really enjoyed reading this poem and by far this is the best I have read today. your wording is flawless and your message is excellent strong and true. any ways Grrrrrreat job and keep it up.
Sincerely, Paul
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This is penned in not only a very emotion pack manner but also in a way that allows the reader to feel as if they are standing on the sidelines, watching the scene carefully play out in person. You did a wonderful job. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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GREAT JOB
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Wow this is way good!
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waiting for God's smile from the mountain top....the poet so much immersed in the beauty of nature ......and then all those age-old questions for which we wait for the answer....trying to bring dream and reality together...i enjoyed it..
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omg..................that was so different from what ive read im surprised i mostly like pain and sadness but i really like your and it doesnt have what i usually read. ANd your only 12 yrs old that's like so cool. You'll be like famou someday or something.
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Beautiful
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you're only 12 years old ?? oh my God, This is a great poem. Even if you were older, I'd still call it wonderful ! Love some particular phrases, "
What if, God is our dreamer,
And we are the dream,"
Nicely put, obviously not just a poet, but a philosopher as well :-D .
Well, I really enjoyed reading it !!
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Gloria, You thought a great deal about the content of this poem, and it a treasure of spiritual meanderings. I see a love of nature's beauty and an awe for life. It was my pleasure to read this and you certainly left me smiling.
If God is the Dreamer, and we are his Dream, I hope he doesn't wake up. I don't want to find that I don't exist. LOL
On the other hand, what we dream, he can dream infinitely better. Thank you for sharing, Sweetie!
Karen
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The poem is thought provoking,spiritual and sweet.I would encourage you to keep writing.Also,would like to offer couple of suggestions re typo's /grammar:
Fourth stanza line 1 excepts perhaps may be instead accepts.
Eighth stanza line 1 exitents perhaps may be instead existence.
Fourteenth stanza "I'd I'll wave" perhaps use either I'd or I'll.
Fifteenth stanza mountians perhaps instead mountains.
I enjoyed reading this and am impressed that you write so well at the tender age of twelve years.You were able to include the senses and open the mind.Well done indeed.
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wow i reallly have some damn writers in this group like work "Let us pray the heavesn open to receive the wilthed rose and that our children will be angels dancing with blithe and twinkling show" very nice line The ending a little shakey but over all nice work
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wow great write I loved it and very well expressed good luck for your future and please keep writing
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I didn't understand most of this!
but I could feel it. The vibe it brought to me ... what is it?
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Wow! For a 12 year old, you've got a lot of insight into the spiritual world, a world that does INDEED exist! Let me tell you this though: God DOES INDEED EXIST! There edivenve all around you: nature, the wind, the stars, it's all there all you have to do is believe. I enjoyed this peice very much.
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viki
SO Nice Beauti
say Thanks to you -
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you wel come
Nice imagery
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Wow. This is so cute. i like it a lot. It's beautiful. The questions in this just open your mind to a whole different perspective. Nice write
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this is sweet and wonderful. I loved the serenity you have embedded into this sweet poem. all the best for the contest. I loved reading you. thanks for sharing.
s
-Neha
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you truly have talent. Keep up the amazing work.
love always and forever, marissa rae -
Nicely penned. There is a lot of thought in this, and a lot of indecision. I applaud your questioning, but also hope for your faith.
You do have numerous grammatical errors. Mostly just punctuation. Otherwise, this is an excellent read.
Well wishes in the contest.
Thank you for sharing.
rous
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Fantastically Stunning
I am in awe of your talent at such a young age! You are destined for fame.
I did once wonder if we were all but a dream in God's mind. By my philosophy, when He "woke up" as it were, heaven would be to be remembered forever, and to exist in memory, and hell would to be forgotten forever and dashed to nothingness.
Continue your artistic telent and accent it with knowledge and wisdom and you will be remembered by future generations. (Theologically, it's a bit off, but you are FAR ahead of most people, including adults. Well Done!)
~Crusader318
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Flaming heck this is incredible...your word usage is superb, some very pretty and meaningful words in there. And your philosophical ideas are great - I really love them, especially:
What if, God is our dreamer,
And we are the dream,
That God created almost, unknowingly?
That is just...awesome
I think the first stanza is my favourite...but there are so many good ones its hard to choose. Don't really know what else to say, other than keep up the fantastic work!
Take care x
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Very nice. Good flow. Nice imagery. Quite grown up.
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opps forgot the applause!
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umm wow!! what can i say sis??
It's brilliant!!
one thing, I'd I'll wave and smile, i dont know if its meant to be like this, but it doesnt seem right?
anyway I love it and I love the way the poem ends
it's really inspiring to me
and I love it!!!
Good luck in the contest
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