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contrition


you were always you

no force of will could make you
      cure my longing

it takes time and pain to see
      through a long thick dark

i sought companionship
      so i made you my companion

i wanted love
      so i made you my lover

i hoped for acceptance
      so i made you my ideal

i craved validation
      so i made you in my image

i was filled with need
      so i made you my delusion


and now?


i've paid my fare and crossed
      the formidable styx

i've pushed through the pressing throng
      of my decaying ghosts

i've conversed with my line
      and see now the endless pattern

looking up to the stars i smile
      there is a sudden peace

and i refuse to press even god
      for one small answer

for in my heart i've set you free
      and released god to the stars

 

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Rediscover
    February 23

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    This is so finely written

    Letting go... After weighing all the aspects and options. Through the conflicts we reason with so much more insight.
    I've conversed with my line and see now the endless pattern.For in my heart I've set you free,into the stars holding tight to God.For in my heart I've set you free and released god to the stars. What are you feeling when you release god to the stars? Excellent poetry this is deep and makes one ponder deeply.


  • EeyoreUK
    October 25, 2007
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    I can see how much thought you put into your writing.
    It says something that after reading something remains with you and takes hold of your thoughts.
  • Kay Laon Anders
    October 12, 2007

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    Something different

    "and i refuse to press even god
    for one small answer"

    I think that no answer sometimes is the best answer...


    "i was filled with need
    so i made you my delusion"

    I am not sure why this throws me off a little bit...


    "i've pushed through the pressing throng
    of my decaying ghosts"

    I like this....I think victory...



    "for in my heart i've set you free
    and released god to the stars"


    tell me what you mean by releasing god...


    Great write...

    Kay Laon Anders





    • Zahhar gold member
      October 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      if you love something/someone, let it go, release it, free it. this goes for god, too. most religious people go to god with their hand out, like corner-side beggars. "god, can you spare a dime? can you spare a quarter? just a quarter? c'mon god just gimme something!" and like persistent beggars they crowd god all the way down the block, and when god offers a nickel they spit on him and curse him for not giving them a feckin dime, a quarter. and yet he answered the prayer, he gave them something.

      we beggars do this asking god for true love, for prosperity, to be healed from this or that sickness, or to make this or that person better, a return on unrequited love, for this or that job, for all sorts of things except the one thing he most wants to offer, his guidance. all these other things don't give god anything in return, but asking for guidance gives something spectacular in return--faith in his will; trust in his direction.

      on the subject of love and companionship i have been at god's feet all my life with my feckin hand out. and when i realized i had let him go on this matter, and indeed on all other matters, i acknowledged his gifts and released him to the stars, no longer attempting to bind him to my earthly desires and expectations, trusting him to guide me as he sees fit, and to my benefit as he wills.

      god is not 'of earth', though earth is included. god is, if anything, of the stars. so he is released back to his own celestial element rather than being dragged through the mud and mire of base, rank, gluttering, wants and desires.

  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 8, 2007

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    The "ideal," the "image," the "delusion"
    leads the mind to picture an array of "companions"
    to which the writer may have been held in
    a state of addiction, but the writer then freed by crossing the boundaries of the river.

    Poet Zahar, this is sn adventure for the reader, regardless of understnding the original intent.

    Aesthete


    • Zahhar gold member
      October 8, 2007
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      your understanding of this poem comes very close to my own.

  • HopeWithWings
    October 6, 2007

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    Dear poet, you seem to have forgotten meeting Cerberus, just a joke.

    This seems like it could be placed with the creation of man and woman, perhaps from Greek mythology Pandora, who released all the Ill onto the world except hope. Which would transition into the second half of the poem that branches into Hades' domain.

    But reading back through the beginning could simply be the creation of the earth which also leads to companions and animals.

    This surely must have been about a companion of sorts, who in the end was no more then expected and no more then a reality's dream.

    But then again I could be wrong, as most have often been over one thing or another.

    Wither way this is an inspiring poem beautifully written and worded.


  • Angel Of Heaven99
    October 4, 2007

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    wow! This is deep and I love the way it flowed. Nice writing my fellow poet Thank you for sharing this with me:0

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