Fingers turn to ice,
I don't want to be here,
there's no where else to go,
no one to turn to, no one to help,
to hold back my arms and tell me not to.
Tell me I don't need to.
Even though I want to.
I close my eyes, it's the only way for clarity,
otherwise I'm blinded by the beauty
forget to see the truth, I could have helped her.
I open my mouth but the words don't come out,
instead it's a comedy, what am I trying to hide.
Is this happiness? Is this my existence?
Time after time I'm hurled down when i've struggled to stand.
Shall I just lay here? Accept this is where I'm meant to be?
[Is that where I'm meant to be?]
Perfect. I can't wait till perfection.
When there will be no mistakes to chip away at me. corrode me.
I won't be my own worst enemy.
I can believe what I tell everyone else I am.
Together, indifferent, content.
[I can finally be fixed, all of myself will live.]
I love this time of day, between light and darkness,
the world is half asleep, half alive, It's familiar.
Was I bred to be so careless? Or too careful? too caring?
Selfish enough for self-pity,
not selfish enough to bring it to its end.
I blame everyone else. I blame them for what they made me.
Not even the people like me. Understand me.
That's why I'm someone else. A shell for something more sinister.
They can all be down. Express their fears and sufferings.
Yes it might be genuine, but why can't that be me?
Take something herbal, that will work wonders.
The only wonder I know, is the wonder in my drink.
You've not noticed have you?
When I sit in my room and do nothing but count the beams over and over.
Listen to the silence filled with these destructive thoughts.
Take the magic that I've hidden, partake in it in secret.
You heard me put the tap on? I haven't done that in a while.
Scratch away at the surface just enough to release...
then it won't subside until I've turned to dreams.
My fingers have turned to ice, to match the rest of me.
One day someone might tap me and I will shatter.
Or it will get too heated and I'll just melt.
While the world stays the same, just as cold as I am.
I will wait for what I want to come.
So it will thaw me out.
Author notes
The line: "Accept this is where I'm meant to be?" is supposed to read Accept NOT Except, as I'm questioning if I should accept who I am.
A contest entry
- Give me something strange and dark by MusicalSounds.
370 points, ended October 11, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Did You Win A Gold Trophy? by Nam.
525 points, ended October 19, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
//opinions are opinions//
Comments
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"to hold back my arms and tell me not too." - "too" at the end would be "to".
"I close my eyes, its the only way for clarity," - "its" would be "it's".
"forget to see the truth, I could of helped her." - "of" would be "have".
"instead its a comedy, what am I trying to hide." - "its" would be "it's".
"Is this happiness? Is this my existance?" - "existance" would be "existence".
"Time after time I'm hurled down when i've stuggled to stand." - "stuggled" would be "struggled".
"Shall I just lay here? Accept this is where I'm meant to be?" - "Accept" would be "Except".
"When there be no mistakes to chip away at me. corrode me." - the word "will" should be between "there" and "be".
"not selfish enough to bring it to it's end." - "it's" would be "its".
"Thats why I'm someone else. A shell for something more sinister." - "Thats" would be "That's".
"You heard me put the tap on? I haven't one that in a while." - "one" I believe would be "won".
"then it won't subside untill I've turned to dreams." - "untill" would be "until".
Your last line doesn't make sense compared to one of the lines above it where you state that heat will "melt" you, yet at the end you state "I am thawed". One of those should be changed to make more coherent sense.
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awesome write, i don't see that anyone has commented, i think you have won my contest, i'll check out some more of your writes later on, see ya late------nathan ritchey
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