Be smited
and come ye'
through valleys and desolation
o'er yonder where
wind breaks and
days break
through the purpose
and the inhalation
of existence
Across the
burning river
where dusk doth fall
for forever
into emptiness' sea
of fruitless despair
Find death in
bone yards and
cracked expansions
where perfection
is found in lost paradise
and deviations are
reasonable
to the sick
the stranded
the blind
and the dying
Into the slaughterhouse
of lost reconciliation
and shadows
of an existence undefined
and left for
the lice of life
and the lice of
the government
Between death and dream
is therapy with salt
ash and bone
chipped away like
seconds spilled from
sandy sieves
The door of perception
spun from webs of
conflicting lives
and failed endeavors
becomes a home
for the grave
while hallucinations haunt
the inner being
in mirages and
visions of God
raised like an animal
A contest entry
- prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended October 9, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I don't like the ye and o'er but that is definitely personal preference.
I like the fourth into the fifth stanzas were your strongest but you have the repetition of a lot of the filler words that could maybe be done without.
I am extra critical right now, sorry. LOL
Still the ending is strong and brings the piece together. Great job.
