Here I stand, a rusted tongue, muttering a breathless conviction.
A sweet asphyxiation has choked out our kindred fire,
leaving me hopeless, I can not even begin to trust my own thoughts.
My heart longs to call out to you as it once did,
to fall upon my knees and call you back again,
all that comes forth from this futile attempt is an unfortunate proclamation,
strangled and only spoken in my own mind, your gone.
This intense frailty redesigned the way my heart now beats,
leaving me with only a handful of limp regret,
saturated beneath the pale,
the memories of our carnal submissions composting in my wake.
We always spoke of the cosmically served intensions that brought us here,
to this place,
to see a different sunrise, and bath in the longing we both felt,
give into night falls charm, embrace the ache of the seasons.
Now I am left here building a mystery alone.
I stare into the blistered skies, listening for the winds whispered guidance,
sifting through the foliage undone,
experiencing another quintessential wave of memories emotion.
Now I walk into the heat of transgression,
clenching the knife within my heart,
wandering these planes alone, until I can find my way back,
Back to when we were all roses.
Author notes
option 2
In a list
A contest entry
- ...Options For the Wandering Mind... by PerfectImperfection.
775 points, ended October 14, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Perfection by adsaige.
600 points, ended October 12, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love..... by love-laugh-live.
450 points, ended November 15, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Sounds like a massive heartbreak... Extremely dramatic. I loved reading this. I read it out loud and it sounded wonderful!!!!
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Great imagery, wonderful message. It's an all-around great read. The words just seem to flow together like they were meant to be placed there in this poem together.
Here I stand, a rusted tongue, muttering a breathless conviction -
Flows like a dream
I really like the images attached to this - it completes the poem. Great use of imagery. Emotions are clearly felt and you build the atmosphere well througnout - nice work
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What a great write. This poem scans perfectly, without feeling forced. The rhymes are clean. The grammar is straightforward and conversational. And all of that comes together to put forward a powerful message. All in all this made for a great read. I hope you keep writing such powerful poetry, and I look forward to reaading more from you. Excellent work.
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This was a very good piece. You portrayed your thoughts very well. There is a lot of passion in this poem. I liked the "We always spoke of the cosmically served intensions that brought us here,
to this place,
to see a different sunrise, and bath in the longing we both felt"
Well done.
I can see why this piece won a couple of honorable tropies. Thank yo uso much for entering my contest and I wish yo uthe best of luck. -
oh that is good! Thanks for entering!
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Great incorporation of the phrases throughout! Well written, almost seamless - with such a great depth. Thank you so much for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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Judged
Hm...I'm not exactly sure if the title here summarizes this poem...but that's besides the point.
I like the words, nice big words for me to drool over, with a meaning within them, and sensuous kissing at the edges of your words. Beautiful imagery, and an impact that is gentle, but on so...fist clenching.
Welcome to the finalist list. -
Oh this awesome. I loved how you used the phrases!
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