Are you able to smile each day
while inside I slowly rot away?
Kept to my own, you cannot tell
that I am not at all that well.
In a pool of grief I lay.
Is every place we have been
looked upon as if a sin?
Little reminders of what we had
now only reflections of all the bad.
I just can't seem to win.
Can you see me as before?
We had each other, needed no more.
Being together was all I wanted.
Sadly our time was abruptly stunted.
Even now my heart is sore.
I've done so much just to change,
but still find myself out of your range.
My future, gray and quite unsure,
knowing you are my only cure
to take away all of my pains.
Author notes
One of my best pieces I've done in quite a long time I think.
A contest entry
- Take time to move me; by bonjourbunnie.
425 points, ended October 6, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Fiesta! - For my Favourites - by Never Fall in Love.
1250 points, ended March 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is fantastic. As I normally read all your poems and comment, I was worried whether you'd be able to give me something decent considering the amount of time you'd have to go back in. Truly amazing peice, love
Never ♥
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you know, they're all good. so i don't know what you're talking about. wish there was somethin i could do to help you with your muse and inspiration..
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This is a really good piece (I love that picture at the top too). I for one and am sure many people can in someway relate to this - "I just can't seem to win" - I know that feeling oh too well...and wanting what was before...and trying to change.
Anyway the flow of this piece was top notch! And I think the style (sorry I don't know poetry form names) you've written it in fits perfectly. Cool rhyming too. Glad I read this!!
Good luck in the contest and take care x
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Very sad and solemn, I enjoyed reading it. Good luck in the contest and in your future works.
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Beautiful.
I love the rhyme scheme.
Great job!
<3 -
I would like to see you write a poem I didn't love, but it's just too impossible. I can relate to this well, it's scary. Except for me, no matter how hard I try I could never express myself as well as you.
X♥X
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