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Valley of the Ashes



Nothing will grow there now,
I understand the meanness of the sky too well—
the turns of impossibility and bottomless blues—
they cannot wait for me here;
everyone feels the cold skin and dead beats
“Here lay the Dead” they’ll say
mourning every patch of green grass



You are sobbing, and I cannot will a single tear.

Every part of me, rotten with beauty.


I beg you, do not watch
as I disintegrate:
faint lemon soap suds in the bottom of some deep water,
in an unremarkable ocean






barely leaving a trace




Author notes

Perfect is a fragile state of affairs.. momentary, fleeting..

..and always so dead inside.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Danna Hobart
    October 15, 2007

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    Oh, do I know this feeling. Thanks for entering this wonderfully ddepressing poem.


  • Annalise
    October 13, 2007

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    Oh-- you know this is good.

    I love the capitalization of the Dead. Really works, ya know? Also, the chasm between "in an unremarkable ocean" and the last line. Spectacular use of dramatic flair there.

    Good stuff here.


    • -ButterflyCuts-
      October 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Meli-
      Mmm... I usually dislike capitalisation in poetry, but I suspect that stems from a hatred of God-trash.

      x


  • misselaineous
    October 8, 2007

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    very well written
    left me wanting more - but not sure what i wanted more of


  • Cat
    October 5, 2007
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    some really well thought out images here- i like this piece a lot.

    m


  • bw43
    October 3, 2007

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    amazing and apathetic.... yet beautiful. in all it's apathy it somehow cares? do i get it wrong?

    just beautiful. i loved every word.


  • Cherokee
    October 3, 2007

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    It's such a gift to be able to write during painful times. You have so much talent and such an ability to draw the reader in and make them feel what you are feeling. This poems screams to me.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 3, 2007

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    not always hon..not always.
    Perfection is an unending quest, but looking/finding perfection in things around us, is perhaps, momentary, but so worth the second it takes to appreciate. As I appreciate your talent.
    So deeply sad this is, but still..it pulses with life.


  • soybomb76
    October 3, 2007

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    Umm... I can't say I completely understand it, but it was definitely intriguing! I liked, "You are sobbing, and I cannot will a single tear." Although I did like your Author notes also... How Perfect is so dead! Because there is no depth, no... characteristics to it... Sorry, thinking out loud really.. Good luck to you, in the contest!


  • suthrnbell84
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was an intriguing piece. Nice flow, good wording used.Good luck in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10