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the jesus room

we sat
while they were repainting the room a brighter hue,
as though it would bring jesus into the hearts of children, as though he wanted that--

the color, not the children

i speak of.

you prayed on this.

on thursday nights
they used our gyms and took my money:
breakfasts, sodas and cheap dates to the movies
with girlfriends they
never
loved.

that room;

i sat
and thought as you spoke so deeply of your convictions;
you were to the teeth.

there was death
in foreign lands, and every time the plate
was passed, the pew would sigh
as you gave
again:

your time and blood, your sleepless
nights

and fear.

only to find yourself
unrequited and
alone.

only to find

that life was not a channel of guilt
and we were not

as beautiful

as we would
think.

you missed the point
all together. and i think that i missed mine
amidst the walls of older rooms

with newer

paint. 

Author notes

marrow.

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Cherokee
    September 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this.


  • Creatress silver member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you are really exceptional, I know why you are on my favorite list again. Happy to stop by, enjoying your work. You are really something.

    Creatress


  • girl shaman
    December 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "you were to the teeth."

    -amazing use of words there. i love it
    for some reason that line stood out for me.



  • ecrivain01 gold member
    November 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    This is an amazing poem ...

    and I don't really see anything that you could change -- or should change. I have a contest going now that might interest you.

    http://allpoetry.com/contest/2379260

    Anyway, good job.


  • thelovesongwriter
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you are my favorite poet on ap.
    beautiful work. :]

    please keep it up and thank you for sharing this

    i sat
    and thought as you spoke so deeply of your convictions;
    you were to the teeth.

    there was death
    in foreign lands, and every time the plate
    was passed, the pew would sigh
    as you gave
    again:

    your time and blood, your sleepless
    nights

    and fear.

    i love this. soo much


  • RachelSchuyler
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i really liked this one. it hit hard. and i like how you wrote it.

    great job. really. this is really good


  • CarCrashHumor
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow-- extremely well-written and very meaningful.


    perfection.


  • J.J. Sass
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This piece is big.

    Thanks for sharing, and best wishes in the contest.

  • vertigo beat
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • hilly
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem, and the idea of painting an old room a bright hue in attempts to bring jesus among it. Actually, I'm jealous of that thought. It kind of understands this feeling I had yesterday--this sick feeling--one of those in-your-stomach feelings that nobody ever wants to feel again.

    My only suggestion(and I don't even feel right giving you suggestions) is that third stanza. I wish that never and loved were on the same line. I love going crazy with line breaks but I think the slowing of the pace there is really abrupt. But I don't know...you always seem to know what you're doing.


  • The.Stars.Go.Blue
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You always have such subtle beauty in your poems. Like, even when you're talking about something sad, it's beautiful.
    Same case here. Fer sure.


  • Phineas Red
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like it.


  • BlueNote27
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Best ending to one of your poems in a long while. Good stuff.

    • marrow
      October 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I really appreciate that, man.


  • lee-sharp
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    damn your amazingness.

    • marrow
      October 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks man, I really appreciate that with this one especially.


  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    excellent.

1 - 19 of 19