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Whisper In The Trees

I hear a whisper in the trees,
Sofly I hear you say you love me for me.

My heart is like a small bud,
It blooms from all of your love.

When I have no shelter from the cold,
You hold me close until I begin to unfold.

Your love whispers in the woods it takes my fears away,
Loving you forever is here to stay.

Author notes

Too short I know, But tell me what you think an if I need to change or add anything.


Amber

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • ronnica
    October 30, 2007

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    Sometimes Amber short can be just enough. and there are plenty of competitions that ask for just ten limes or less, I write plenty of short poems, this one is romantic and loving,


  • BluRosePoet8488
    October 15, 2007

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    Honestly, yes, it is too short. I'm sure there is more to add later. I find that with many of mine I will go back and add to them or use parts of one in another.
    A couple of things... 5th line the word 'know' should be 'no' and in the 6th line, do you mean 'begging' or 'begin'? I want to read it as 'You hold me close until begin to unfold'.
    One piece of advice, keep a dictionary handy when you write and don't rely solely on spellcheck. Sometimes you can spell a word correctly but not have the correct useage in place. Keep the ink flowing.
    ~Donna~

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    October 14, 2007

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    I think this is a beautiful piece and just to let you know some of the smaller pieces have a really big effect on people. Like this one did on me, Thank you for shairng this with me.Much love


    • midnight eyes
      October 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, I never really thought that I'll keep that in mind next time I try to write a poem and it ends up short. It's the meaning of the poem that counts.



      Amber


  • soldiersoul gold member
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    nice WOODED area there carve yer initials

  • A floatingleaf silver member
    October 5, 2007
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    "Your love whispers in the woods it takes my fears away,"
    Very nice write...leaf


  • JesusLove
    October 4, 2007
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    I like your poem. It has meaning and how you feel about love. I like it a lot.
    Karah


    • midnight eyes
      October 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      GodLovesYou

      Hey Karah,

      Thanks for reading I'm glad you like my new poem. How are you doing, I know we haven't talked in a while an I haven't been on much I've been kind of busy. I hope we get to talk soon.


      Amber


  • storiesuntold gold member
    October 3, 2007

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    I do love this

    When one feels true love yes the heart races and as the young rose bud unfolds the scent of love so new and every second the whispers say I love you to . Very nice write
    I stumbled on when I have know I think "known" would be great there.
    And You hold me close I { maybe use "feel our love unfold'}
    In reading it those are the only places I stumbled but it just could be me so if your happy then dont mind me OK


    • midnight eyes
      October 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading, An it's fine if you come across something that may not sound right. It's good to know.


      Amber

1 - 15 of 15