I gazed at heaven’s eye,
While longing for a magical embrace…
…And then…
…you held me.
With warmth so true…
……it turned
…………my cold heart
……………into a river,
………………that only knows
…………………the depths of you.
I am yours.
You are mine.
We are one tonight.
Author notes
written on October 3, 2007 - 11:54 PM
~dedicated to my special someone (my "Mine") ^_^
~posted in my blog as well
A contest entry
- Write me one essential poem to fall in love with. by Lyndon.
800 points, ended October 6, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I remembered one night when I was looking at a full moon, and I wished that my special someone was with me. And he was there, although not physically, but he was there... in my mind and in my heart.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Imagination is often what keeps most of us alive and human. The emotional bangs of love, despair, anger, bonds, etc all come to play fantasies in our imaginations. Love, yet again, manages to take us over with a queer personal romanticism. The free-verse here flows well. It's speed and length keeps it alive as a lingering 'moment' in the heart that reads this pieces truth. Happy writing!
Yet another Winkler, Sam.
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Thank you my friend
Your free verse tracks fairly well although, for my liking, there are a few too many dots lacking real significance. I mean that if they vanished, would there be a material difference? Your notes and your poetic and expressed desire are one. If girls only knew how young men can love and long, eh?
A cold heart becoming a river is a sudden juxtaposition, perhaps. Thank you for this poem of interest.
Ron.
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What imagination can do to a person... You must be deeply in love! Although you are alone in the Moonlight, you feel his presence in your heart. It warms your heart and turns it upsite down. Nicely done JP. Good luck in the contest. Anna.
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thanks Anna. Yes, I am deeply in love. *giggles*. Take care Anna and thanks for the comment. ~JP
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powerful
I saw all the ellipses and wondered what sort of ride I was in for. Then I strapped in and pushed off. I enjoyed this. It's like an intimate moment that I was fortunate enough to witness. The only part that I did not like was the final word of the last line "tonight". That made me think of Whitesnake and power ballads. It felt a little trite. I would have preferred to either nothing there or "forever". But this is your poem and your "Mine" and not mine. Thank you for sharing your poem with all the prople of AllPoetry!
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Glad you enjoyed it. I was having trouble how to end it. I liked your suggestion thanks! Take care! ^_^ ~JP
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