Look at me and smile
Glee dropping from your eyes
Open your arms, open them wide
And come running to me
Embrace me with all your might
Entwined, our bodies collide
And your heartbeats
Your heart beats against mine
As fire rises and wind howls
At last you’re in my arms
At last I’m in yours
Magical bliss, take me away
For it is now and it is here
That Kingdom shall come
A morning breeze, cold, surrounds us
And the soil’s scent covers our souls
A purple sky, a broken sun, nature slumbers
It is time
Your eyes, I picked them out carefully
Your lips are chapped, destined to rot
I’ve taken your heart out
My eyes widened as it kept beating in my palm
Couldn’t help the temptation
I had to taste, to savor
Every bit of what was keeping you alive
Every bit of that pulse still stuck in my head
From sleepless anxious nights
And you, my darling, are dead now
And I smile, I smile and I run to you
Arms wide open, eyes dripping glee
Gathering your every piece, shattered
Your blood is feeding my soil
Another blood,
Another night,
The smell of death now reigns
As maggots, worms and pests feed on your remains
Every part of you, becomes a part of them
But you, you were beautiful.
A contest entry
- Inside the Mind of Madness by Synthetic-Nightmare.
1500 points, ended January 25, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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wow
this is WONDERFUL!! VERY DARK, CHILLING AND FUCKIN CRAzy!!!! It's a hot ass write and you did a WONDERFUL job exploring the murky depths of a killer, painting insanity with words and emotion. Thanks so much for entering, best of luck to you and kudos
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thx u for that comment
and goodluck with the judging
~rana~
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This is a fab dark write! I love the emotion you've put into your evil. Some great imagery and the ending was wonderful. Very well penned, good luck in the contest
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Ok, this is definitely my favorite dark write. It makes me think of a serial killer. You capture apart of humanity that people refuse to see. This instinct that we don't think exists.
Nice job! -
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thx u
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..... the beautiful taste of blood.... the smell of soil and the sight of darkness surrou nding.... amazing piece....i stand in awe and bend before this greatness of words and thoughts...
PEACE
********JOWELL******
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¡¡¡¡¡¡¡SILENCE!!!!!!!!
alright...that's enough!...ok i understood it! i see you'd understand me if i'd say "write some DARK", but is it so necessary to trample me? heh......i'm on my knees before you, just WOOOOOOOAAAAAAA!!!!!!!....you're one of my favorites now, i'd say you one thing that i always wanted to say: "A Masterpiece".........i really like this one, specially because it remembers me an amazing song "...And Innocence" by Ram-Zet one of the best bands that i've known ....listen it may be it like you... and just to finish with this matter...a last phrase to you: "you got this raw taste that i like to savour..." heh goodbye....
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wow lol! much much thanks for that comment! and will surely listen to that song..
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i think once ur beautiful.. ur always beautiful..
in life as well as in death...
i loved both parts equally.. the lively part and the morbid part.. they are equally amazing...
for some reason, it reminded me of HIM's song "Join me in Death"...
i agree with milz... i can totaly hear this dark voice reading ...
great job once again my rana.
love u
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amazingly enough im lstng to that song rite now lol
love u my hana..
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i'm always amazed by this perspective you have on death and how great and visible and disgusting the impact of it is on our mortal bodies...but what's even more amazing that you just disregard all that and sum it all up in one single breathtaking statement...
"But you, you were beautiful."
that's the whole point...
amazing write as always
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*sighs* omg!!!!!!!!!!!
It's raining outside my door at the moment... perfect while reading this!! You took me with you in every line, every word... it's amazing... I could hear a dark voice reading it with a melody for it flows great!
"Another blood,
Another night,
The smell of death now reigns
As maggots, worms and pests feed on your remains
Every part of you, becomes a part of them
But you, you were beautiful."
*sighs* Breathtaking!!!!!!!!!!!!!
one of my favorites.......
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its not totally dark but its like it has a dark background .. makin any sense ?! lol .. it has a lot of weirdness sickness ..
actually, its my favorite piece of yous .. totally awesome!
"Your eyes, I picked them out carefully
Your lips are chapped, destined to rot
I’ve taken your heart out
My eyes widened as it kept beating in my palm
Couldn’t help the temptation
I had to taste, to savor
Every bit of what was keeping you alive
Every bit of that pulse still stuck in my head
From sleepless anxious nights
And you, my darling, are dead now "
gr8, gr8, gr8 !!!
me
xxx
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Shattered heart holding the pen inked with longing and love.
Favorite: The magic, the love, the picture is so clear
Least favorite: That the death was so real! Personally I like to ignore things I do not like...
Even so, I think it is really good!
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wow!
This very,very good! What an excellent poet you are. The images are incredible. Also an interesting twist to a sounding love poem. I also read this aloud. Do you share your work out at open mic's/coffee houses etc? If not you should, this is really a beautiful poem.
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awesome there is no other word to describe it to describe u WOW!!! i choose it all *bows to ur majesty*
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wow. That really had a surprise ending
Wow... that was really nice. I wespecially loved the last line, "But you, you were beautiful." Awesome. I loved it.
~Pandy~
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incredible. wow. that that was amazing. when i frist started reading i was a little sckeptical think that this was another all to common love stroy, but you blew me away with that twist. this was an excellent write that my words cant give just. cant wait to read more.
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Wow I am blown away! This should be in a book! You did an awsome job by invcorperationing so many elements into one singel poem, I admire this poem!! THank you so very much for sharing!!!
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"Embrace me with all your might
Entwined, our bodies collide
And your heartbeats
Your heart beats against mine
As fire rises and wind howls"
:^) i love this part, it's very captivating.
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