waiting
stomping quietly
the checker is so slow
other places I have to go
smile please
Author notes
sixteen words
A contest entry
- Contemplations: Super Market Checkout by Cat.
1800 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
welcome all comments
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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a really nice thought- would have been more powerful with more concise use of language perhaps.. but still nice
thanks -
haikus or cinquains are at their best when less gerunds are used in my opinon...
but many thanks for entering our contest
G.x -
A small amount of words with a very loud voice, strong point
Very well done
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good
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Thanks...leaf
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smile please...
Are you sure we don't shop at the same supermarket? Check Outs are the same all over the world it seems! Loved it my friend! Good luck in the contest!
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have you paid yet xx
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LOL...thanks, Peter...leaf
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check out your gerunds... not good to use in short pieces...
i'll be back
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