Charm, that virus, enthralls the masses.
Insipid, vile and purulent swine
With vulgar mouths and clinking glasses;
Scarlet teeth from rancid wine.
I dance with thoughts of dissolution
And copulate with ceaseless guilt.
My words are septic psyche pollution;
The soil on which my haunt is built.
One I've had for a while. This poem is an onion to me. It has many layers that I peel back so that I can get to the core of its meaning. A bit too succint, but sometimes that might be a good thing.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
good
this poem i would discribe as a grimace. which might be a reaction to a facade. I agree with the sentiment - and succinct - in my opinion is one of the things good in poetry - it makes a picture - clearer -
almost an exadurating a thought yet pulling the reader sometimes into a place that they might never have discovered - otherwise.
yet, in a sense - this poem could be seen as the poet slicing and dicing himself - something which I personally discourage. Life is full of enough tragedy already - just waiting to drag you down - don't let it.
Don't give it that much power. Find the good - is what I say -
well, i have blathered on and on with this - for what its worth
keep writing -
jingle
-
A critique is an arbitrary view, but nonetheless should not one honor anothers praise to an individual than than trample upon it?
If someone wishes to critique my work, please do so, but I will not tolerate personal responses to another individual on my pages. Such provocations are unnecessary and cheapens what the pages are meant for.
Again, critique my work as much as you want with proper constructive and enlightening criticism. Just try to refrain from critiquing other peoples opinions and attempt to send them in private messages.
Please respect this statement and I look forward to your opinions of my work.
Elijah Gray -
tarja, seriously dear, grow up, this man is obviously a wonderful poet, there is no refuting that, but your obsession is worrying, and comparing him as higher up the any woman poet in history is just plain stupid. sylvia plath? simone debogueis? come on now woman
-
-
A critique is an arbitrary view, but nonetheless should not one honor anothers praise to an individual than than trample upon it?
If someone wishes to critique my work, please do so, but I will not tolerate personal responses to another individual on my pages. Such provocations are unnecessary and cheapens what the pages are meant for.
Again, critique my work as much as you want with proper constructive and enlightening criticism. Just try to refrain from critiquing other peoples opinions and attempt to send them in private messages.
Please respect this statement and I look forward to your opinions of my work.
Elijah Gray
-
-
Wonderful poem, great use of words. I love it
-
I love poems that rhyme and I like the emotion you put into it.
-
Deep
Is charm indeed a virus? It is an interesting and unique way of looking at it. Here's what I am getting from your poem.
I see a party, and yet it's all false and it's as if you can see through their facade, they are all putting it on and pretending, and it is vile to you, it is not purity nor honesty.
"Scarlet teeth from rancid wine"
That line really makes the first stanza, you instantly imagine that false smile with as you have written, scarlet teeth.
Second stanza is very important, I sense from this that you are joining in but somewhere deep inside you don't want to be part of it, it is just the way life is and yet you want more, you want to rise above it and you just don't know the way yet.
-
*Deep sigh* I love you. You honestly you are winning over my heart with your words. Each time I finish a piece of yours I fall deep into a school girl illusion of admiration and envy. You have no reason to envy me so, love. You are a true poet. And as I was just telling my friend, a man who can write and write well such as yourself easily blows the best of all women poet's out of the water... truly Elijah, you bring the works of Shakespeare himself to shame.
~Tarja
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
