These hands,
no fingerprints-
silent stigmatas
without a miracle.
Another day collapses,
autumn's bland ritual,
falling minutes,
the pin of your absence,
thrown from the distance
speeds-up
my voodoo recovering.
Author notes
...
In a list
- Diseased Minds group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Allpoetry Book 2: Get Published! by tinuelena.
1050 points, ended November 13, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Avatar by ea.
525 points, ended December 1, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short yet powerful by BigE.
300 points, ended December 4, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pimp up my honorable mention or trophyless by leander.
400 points, ended December 4, 2007, 86 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Liquid Life by NueteredBuddah.
300 points, ended January 4, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The news in brief - Short poetry by ilovemygrape.
450 points, ended February 5, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Nice and cryptic in it's descriptions, this poem drips with melancholy and tedium whilst being rather evokatively written, urging the reader to explore your subtle meanings. This poem reads like a daydream; an empty reverie of psychadelic boredom. Very cleverly worded.
Thanks for the entry -
gooooood.
i really really like this one, so simple, yet gives the message straight to you. the last four lines are especially amazing, they really connect it all.
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goooorgeous! amazing, how short it is, but the message it conveys is so powerful! great job.
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whoa creepy amazing poetry, i love it. Well Done
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Wow. Very powerful, I am speechless
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Brilliant
I love the ferosity behind these words! Great write! Keep it up!
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Theis is a very interesting and thought inducing read. I have to say I don't really see how it was inspired by the image, but thank you for entering!
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WOW
this is incredible sister! LOVED IT!!!
Creatress
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"my voodoo recovering"
Though hard to choose, my favorite part of all because it sounds both real and not real because of the word voodoo combined with "my" and voodoo is usually something seen with some incredulity, but the "my" is personal.
Nice anagrams and metaphors used as well. =) -
hmm...
i think i took a different angle on this write then what was intended. The way this is written reminds me of a puppt longing for a soul, wanting to be human. "these hands, no fingerprints, silent stigmatas without a miracle." very well written. I like the fact that its open to interpretation. It creates beautiful imagery. Good job!
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interesting
very interesting write on voodoo love . . like the description . . also like "silent stigmatas" and "the pin of your absence" . . good ending . .
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Short but sweet...and I enjoyed the imagry of hands without fingerprints...
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If I'm not mistaken there's an oopsie in last line: 'vodoo' -> 'voodoo'
a short poem, but the imagery and information you captured between the lines is great!
Leander -
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thanx!
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Wow
I really like this piece, it's very unique, and I like that.
Very well penned as well poet.
Thanks for sharing here.
All the best in the contest.
Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver~
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Nicely done I liked the way you put your words together. Good job.
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congrats on being pubbed in the AP anthology.
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Love it
Though short, I think is now one of my favourites. Excellent job!
Thanks for the comment on My Angel, by the way.
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This is nice and very mysterious. I like it.
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I died long ago...This is just an echo.
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I quiver upon the majestic ingenuity of this poem and the powerful imagery of your talent.. Amazing as always and an enthralling read from the start of the poem to the end. You really dazzled me with the flow of the poem and the intensity of your words... Beautiful...
Keep writing! (:
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Not what you meant, but on one side very poignant... I can only hope the latter is true.
Well penned, you know I love it
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great piece!
great word play!
loved the line 'another day collapses'.
well done, keep up the good work!
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My favourite style!
I love you for this poem, for your word choice and for the absolute abstraction. pretty much awesome. I even like it exactly as it is (a rarity. I'm very picky)
Nicely done.
Much Love.
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wow
I really really like this. It's strange and I've noticed your writing uses very good description and an amazing choice of words. Well done yet again, keep it up.
~Rach x
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I love the use of autumn, love the season.
It adds a softness and melancholy to the poem.
And the use of voodoo. Makes it surreal and edgy.
Great work!
Regards -
This is a very sad setting.
Silent stigmatas
Without a miracle.
Sounds as though there is a deep emptiness within you.
You are searching for a miracle in the darkness but
none seems to be found.
Autumn's bland ritual depicts the coldness that surrounds you.
I also see a longing for someone you have lost in your life.
You have a special talent for showing your inner feelings.
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Very unique. I really enjoyed it. It's a very sad poem and we can tell because of the clever way you've set it up, with one minimalistic line at a time. It conveys such sadness yet at the same time it is nearly hypnotising because there is something very lyrical about it, and of course because you use some fantastic imagery - "Another day collapses,
autumn's bland ritual"
my favourite line - "silent stigmatas
without a miracle" extremely powerful and effective.
Keep up the good work
ELW x
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I liked the rhymes you had in this, kinda off-beat- on beat with the poem- just they were unusual and not common rhymes, like miracle and ritual, they flow well together in a poem ^-^. Short, easy to read, but it has depth even if it only has a few lines.
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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wow.
what can i say? this is amazing.
really! wow.
-anima bella.
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you know i think u got! it's definatly got that extra something something, truly bad ass!
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it's good it's just missing something that would make it fantastic as to what it is i cant quite place my finger on it though but still good
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I like this ALOT. Very good and unique. Thanks for commenting on my song thingie ^__^
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