She was a green,
In the deepest sense.
A virgin, naive
And unprepared.
Now she’s coated with crystals
The fresh shoots stunted
Growth is shooting doubles,
And destruction fronts her form.
While dying makes her cool
Crystals tumble downwards
Needles scrape the skin.
Now the dust has ground so deep it’s blending.
Cells are fast exploding and the
Green is slowly merging into brown.
The tenth hit, the frost.
The twelfth hit, the frozen silence.
Author notes
About the sad amount of Ice addiction in today's society
A contest entry
- Frozen Silence by zochit2me.
550 points, ended October 16, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You know at first...i wasn't sure about this...then after reading your notes and re-reading it, I really like it...it is deep...
I think it could be better presented with line breaks and s bit of re wording...but I like it alot.
do look at it and see about breaking some lines up...read it out loud...this always helps me.
Very good
Becky
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