Sometimes it's so hard letting go
And tonight I just want you to know
That I am staying strong and proud
I just wish you could see me now
I've held myself together for years
I've fought through all the trials and tears
And I want you to know it's all for you
But that's something you probably already knew
Can you see me now, looking down from the stars?
I hold you close, yet you seem so far
Sometimes in dreams you visit me
And I don't feel so lonely anymore
And is it you who holds me tight
And wraps me in warmth when I'm cold at night?
Do you make sure I see the next light of day?
I wish that I had the power to say
Angels took you in and showed you the way
The path of the righteous, and where they lay
Always so loving, always willing to give
I want to say thank you for teaching me to live
And if you were with me tonight
I think I would take one last chance
To tell you I love you
And it's you I'll never forget
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
lovely!
No grammar mistakes that I caught, good for you!! I feel that the primary draw of this poem is that it's very emotional and real. You kept to simple rhymes, but they were strong and unfaltering. To me it seems that the simplicity of the rhyme and rhythm let you express yourself more clearly; there was no distraction from wordiness or over-eloquence, just your heart. You really put the reader in your shoes. I began to feel the emotions you describe. I really liked the line “And is it you I feel who holds me tight/And wraps me in warmth when I'm cold at night?”. I think that really sums up everything you're feeling, this longing for the person you're missing. Also, your conclusion really ties everything up beautifully, that you will never ever forget this person and the indelible mark s/he has on your life.
-
beautiful
this poem is beautiful i can actually say that i've been here i lost my daddy and if i had one more chance to see him i would tell him that i love him. i can feel the emotional pain in this poem and it makes it that much more beautiful keep up the great work
~*~Angel~*~
-
aw ='(
Awesome piece, it made me cry.
I reminded me of someone that had to die.
And since i can relate and the rhyme was tight,
you wrote this with feeling, it was bright.
i remember that someone who also comes at night.
three applause and keep doing it so RIGHT!
-
*cries*
beautiful poem.....so sad yet proud and loving..
"Can you see me now, looking down from the stars?
I hold you close, yet you seem so far
Sometimes in dreams you visit me
And I don't feel so lonely anymore"
i love that verse-and
"And if you were with me tonight
I think I would take one last chance
To tell you I love you
And it's you I'll never forget"
this one is one of my favoirties too! Plz come check out my poetry too! you are wonderful writer!
hearts and hugs
wolf heart
^_^
-
ah this is a beautiful write, I can feel some undertone of truth in this, well written!
-
Also, thank of a better connected title. I understand the connection, but I think the title has more to say about it than the poem does.
-
Grand
You've really grown as a writer. The couplets don't sound so goofy, and your words have more use in imagedry than they did before. I'm very impressed. I also like this repetation. Very well done. This color scheme is obnoxious.
-
absolutely gorgeous!
I kinda felt like it was one of my writes ((not saying that you plagiarised it or anything)) but it was like you were lookin into my eyes and writing what i feel, but find it hard to say!
Very very well done poet!
Keep it up!
♥ Unity
-
Although the pattern is clear - rhyming verse, non-rhyming verse, rhyming verse, non-rhyming verse; this somehow disrupts the whole poem. Better I think to go one way or the other. I found it confusing in regard to the title and the content.
-
tear jerker
this almost made me cry. i really like it. if what it says is true, then i am really sorry for your loss. the rhyming is good, and doesnt seem forced at all.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
