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take me away


For you to come
and take me away
from burdens that my life has placed on me,
Helping me forget
secrets I should not even know,
the ones that keep me from you

Taking my hand and walking,
while we share more than the depths
of our souls,
laughing at the silliness of our jokes
and crying at the hurt in our past

A happiness and contentment
knowing this is where we are supposed to be…
together.

My perfect day…
just being with you
no matter what we do,
cradled gently in your arms
and you
never to leave my side.

For as my eyes close one last time,
and my breath becomes shallow,
I will lie my head on your shoulder
and no longer have need of dreams


since you are already there

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • Dlvvanzor
    October 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Perfect. This reminds me of someone. (Good job!!!) Beautifully true and kind.

    Thanks for entering,
    -Dlvvanzor


    • going nowhere
      October 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you SO much for the gold... i am so glad you enjoyed the words in this poem.


  • penman gold member
    October 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Whew!

    Oh my this is definitely being taken away. What a great poem. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Nicole Cudworth
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    For as my eyes close one last time,
    and my breath becomes shallow,
    I will lie my head on your shoulder
    and no longer have need of dreams


    since you are already there

    This one verse says it all. You put a feeling into words that I can only feel with my heart. Beautifully done!

    Thank you for entering. Love and luck in all you endeavor!


  • The Cold Truth
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the ending is nice... "since you are already there" perhaps this person always is, and that is why you dream of him.


  • alivefromlove
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    holy cowwwwww, you got some good poems up since i checked the other day! this poem is pretty much amazing!


  • superstition
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This has got to be one of my favorite poems I've ever read by you. It's incredibly packed with emotion, and it doesn't let off from one line to the next. If anything, it keeps enhancing with thoughts and feelings.

    "Taking my hand and walking,
    while we share more than the depths
    of our souls"

    A beautiful definition of love right there. The word "MORE" shows the difference of love, being in love, and TRULY being in love with someone.

    The ending of this poem won't leave my mind for a long time neither. Beautifully, beautifully stated. The perfect finish to a perfect piece of writing.

    • going nowhere
      October 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you so much.... the same emotion you read it with went into writing it... i appreciate you taking the time to write out all these thoughts.


  • love-laugh-live
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow that was AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!! it was so sad!! and ver sweet! wow I loved it!! so strong and heartfelt!!!!!!!!awsome!


  • Kiran silver member
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really really beautiful!!! Heartfelt, full of emotion, tender and passionate. I loved this. Well done.


  • shutter-bug
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    omgosh this was absolutely splendiforous!!(i found my thesaurus!!) it was passionate, vehement, beautiful, hopeful, and romantic!! i loved it!! phenomenal ending, i really liked the way you said you had no need for dreams, since he was there. beautiful!! absouletly beautiful!!

    • going nowhere
      October 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thanks. i'm glad you liked this. it was like thoughts i just put down... and then worked it out a little to make it sound poetic..

1 - 22 of 22