she cuts a swathe
through inky blackness,
swaddling all that she sees
with her miasma of
counterfeit translucence;
declining to the hunter's prose
of fingertips circling,
and some Neil Young
climbing high…
Author notes
35 words including title
A contest entry
- Harvest Moon by Cat.
800 points, ended October 6, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Intriguing write ...
and more interesting to me since I really loved Neil Young's music. Anyway, good job.
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thank you
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Stunning finish to this - I love how it creates a sudden depth and contrast: moves everything from the abstract into solid solid grit
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this is a really nice piece and a great entry...
al -
miasma sounds so pretty but after looking it up- oh my.. but what a perfect word choice there-
i love that you brought this to life by including neil young's name in it- it takes it from surreal to human..
nice
m -
Oh this fits the harvest moon contest wonderfully...
Miasma...that's a word I like, that I just don't see often enough. Loved the way you used it here.
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"There's a full moon rising, let's go dance in the light, we know where the music's playing, let's go out and feel the night" ... I love Neil Young and your song of the full moon risin' sings with the same soulful moonshine
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He's my favorite For some morbid reason, I'd like him to play at my funeral.. It was always a joke around people that knew me. Kind of..
It's a very beautiful poem hun and the feeling sits perfectly.
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"I wanna celebrate, see it shining in your eye..
Because I'm still in love with you,
I wanna see you dance again..."
This is just lovely, Elaine - 'cuts a swathe through inky blackness' is perfect. Merging the wonderful imagery here with Neil's silky lyrics was really clever, both poem and song will gladden the heart throughout the day.
Best of luck in the contest.
PJ
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babe this makes my tummy hurt real bad... I love u xxx
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a northern moon, low in the sky
fondling th'ills
and listen
you can hear
electricity play
on the air
on the air
a guitar will hum
fingertips
damn look what you made me do
fine and dandy with mr young
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i like yours much better
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bobbins.... lolol
silly lass
s all round.. chink chink fizz
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Uh oh. Did I forget to count my title...
I love your vision of the moon, and how you brought Neil with you. I like his music. A lot.
Good luck in the contest.
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