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fillies and sunrise

i remember
when earth
rolled from her silence
and yawned with me
one morning

as we went diving
in shallow-shadowed orbit
and plunged through the surface
of dawn

dew drops licked
grass
whipping hair
in wind

and petals
wove lyrics
like puddles of sky


there were horses
with heartbeat hooves
whose mane rippled eternity
and sprinted like flame
chasing time



the sun leapt
from his rocky grave
to run
with music and i



rapt in the wind
we declared
this was the first day

of the rest of my life



Author notes

i think i had forgotten the magic of music: it re-ignited my muse, if only for fifteen minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uemgMa5wFzE

critique welcome, needed, appreciated etc

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • vertigo beat
    October 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Loved your beginning and ending lines.


  • Namita
    October 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is awesome. I love Hannah.

    ~Candy


  • FeedYourHeadMeg
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "i remember
    when earth
    rolled from her silence
    and yawned with me
    one morning

    as we went diving
    in shallow-shadowed orbit
    and plunged through the surface
    of dawn" <-- Those first two stanzas are just breathtaking in poetic beauty, seriously. I love it.


    I love this whole poem too, but the first two stanzas were my favies.

    I know, music is one of my many muses Happy you reconnected with yours.


  • masterblaster gold member
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hi, nice poem but your last lines are a pinch on lyrics by John Denver so perhaps better put in inverted commas as a quote. all the best in the contest.Di


    • DancingRed
      October 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmm, that's totally unintentional as I don't even know the lyrics. Is it just the last two lines that are exactly the same?


  • DrunktankLullaby
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    aww! I loved this! it's such a wonderfully peaceful & empowering picture, and you wrote it SO clearly! the last bit is, of course, my favorite... it's just the most awesome way possible to end this poem. well done!


  • layla.
    October 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant! Truly breathtaking... I loved to explore through your words. Wow. Good luck!


  • Passionate Phoenix
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved these lines...
    'and yawned with me
    one morning'
    ...imagining the world yawning with you is brilliant and very creative.

    good luck in the contest x

1 - 8 of 8