Another Summer passes, Autumn too
The leaves seem anxious now to leave the tree.
Their game of chase I watch with thoughts of you
They whisper to each other ‘wait for me'.
These words you said to me so long ago
Re-kindled as each Autumn passes by.
Each year I’ve walked this path although I know
That when you said farewell you meant goodbye.
The leaves like swirling thoughts around my head,
Form pictures in my mind; to bring you near.
One leaf remains now, hanging by a thread.
One hope, that there’s a chance I’ll find you here.
Another Autumn dances round each tree
Her leaves are whisp'ring softly ‘wait for me’.
Author notes
Photo 'Feather' by Simon.
http://beakerst.shutterchance.com/photoblog/Feather/
In a list
A contest entry
- A contest for Sonnets on the change of seasons ONLY by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended October 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write a villanelle, Sonnet or Ode that is not maudlin or erotic. by Lyndon.
800 points, ended October 22, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #136 Picture prompt by daviscth.
300 points, ended September 19, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I love Autumn and I am giving many points to the one who will make me love it even more. by Loveandblessings2u.
700 points, ended September 12, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pic Prompt (Fall) by Frogzter.
875 points, ended November 11, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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This is so very pretty in imagery. Beautifully done. THanks so much for entering and best wishes.
Frogz~ -
I love sonnets and you write them so beautifully. The wistful sadness often felt at this time of year comes across in your poem
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awww this is so pretty,
very beautiful, made me smile.
I really love the ending to this piece.
Great job.
Thank you and good luck in the contest.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Your beautiful words are really getting me into the spirit of the changing seasons. Thanks so much for your entry.
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Another Autumn dances round each tree
Her leaves whispering softly ‘wait for me’.
well defining life through thee nature is an art,,and you are an artist poet here..well done..
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How beautiful. The change of seasons seem to go from one to the other in an instant. You did such a beautiful job here. Lovely.
Kelli -
Excellent Writing
This is absolutely beautiful, stunningly beautiful.
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This is a good poem ...
but the final couplet doesn't seem to work well for me. It seems rather weak, but I'm not sure just how you could fix that. Otherwise, you've done a good job here. -
Hello. It is my real pleasure
to inform you that a panel of four Winkling judges has placed you well up in the top 25% of this contest.
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Graphic of Autumnal mulch!
"Form pictures in my mind; bringing you near.". Rhythm problem.
Try, "Form pictures in my mind to bring you near."
Now, that is better.
Also,
"Her leaves whispering softly ‘wait for me’." Rhythm!
Try,
"Her leaves are whisp'ring softly 'wait for me’.
You have written a very fine sonnet in the English classic form of 450 years ago.
You have not personified leaves as a critic below has suggested. Indeed you have used similes and associations and the verb 'seems' to convey lack of pathetic fallacy and rather, the intricacies of connotations and associations.
Dr Derry.
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Assuming that leaves can think and feel--you had me convinced there, it is something to remember when walking through them as they cover the ground-- all those silent shrieks and lamentations! Still, as a metaphor it reached me where it hurts. The sadness of Fall was with me long before reading this poem, because of losses of family and friends over the years, so it fit remarkably well even before the lost love was mentioned.
The iambic pentameters were natural and unforced --a couple of tiny things --for instance "bringing you near" might be better accented at "to bring you near".
Good luck with this.
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Very nice ...
although there's more than just a seasonal poem here.
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This matches the season so well. It is so soft and sad, yet sweet. I love how it flows so easily. I can't decide whether the third or last stanza is my favorite. Truly LOVED this poem. Thank you for sharing.
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This is very pretty, not only the images of trees and leaves, but the metaphor of leaves as thoughts and hopes passing away. I love the repetition of "wait for me" at the end, it is so forlorn. So is it better to be faithful or to go on and make a different life? I think it depends on the faithfulness of the one who left. Here it seems too much time has passed without a message to support any leaves on the trees. Very nice sonnet.
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my dear poet, this poem is just so beautiful. the words flow so emotionaly across the page. great write.
entertwining nature and love, always a plus and a favorite in my book
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so clever
the way you have written about the leaves to tell us of your love. The image is vivid and you have made me feel at peace, yet with one hope...a little uneasy.
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