Oh God
they showed me that you endure in all locations
and If you are here with me
then I must extend my repentance to you
as I perceive it, this is not deserving position
where God should dwell
and yet you continue with me
please Do not waver since you may not obtain
the bread for many days
Oh God...
Author notes
Based on ...
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/55/124956739_21eb825512.jpg
A contest entry
- Can you believe...Another PIF? (48 Hours) by poetryality.
525 points, ended October 7, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Most Inspiring Contest Hosts for October by ea.
600 points, ended November 11, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how.dare.you? by CarCrashHumor.
530 points, ended December 12, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Homelessness In The Eyes Of A Child (contest) NOW OPEN FOR PW by Viyanna Rosemarie.
300 points, ended December 15, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i quite sincerely wish i could fuck off completely. by j-ay rose.
550 points, ended January 20, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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hmm... this is pretty alright and i like the aspect you took to this prompt.
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I really like this, it seems abstract.
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I like this poem poet! There is a sense of regret penned here, a sense of forbearance. A sense that even though you know God is in all places at all times, why would He be in this desolation? Why would he stand in the mire that is made of this visual art. Why? You have placed the reader in the graphic with your clever wording. It never takes verbosity to make a point. You have done well with this minimalist work of poetry.
Excellent! Thank you for this entry, and I wish you the best in this challenge.
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
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very well writen. I like the last line. Good luck in the contest.
Smile,
Judy
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Interesting viewpoint.
You portrayed in such a few words the concept of a God who is everywhere at all times. As well as the fact that for someone who believes that He is within our mind and soul. Also that to Him we must give repentance for any sin that we have commited. A truly remarkable poem for such few words,and very well written
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deep and powerful write. i think that this is a well written poem and for being so short it's got a lot of meaning to it. i really enjoyed reading this. great job and pen on poet.
~ Nana Nicole Ramsey
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"If you are here with me"...not an expression of doubt, but an even stronger confession of faith...for it is not with our eyes that we see Him...our communion is on many levels, and our perception is the weaker part...He is always at the ready to be a comfort and stronghold for us...it is we who must 'stand'...and perhaps for 'many days'...so be it...Best of luck in this contest, Poet...this is so touching and innocent a write...Peace, Rhonda
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beautiful
The imageries are so impressive. It seems the poet sees everything through them. Good luck in the contest!
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