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[[GetOutOfMyHead]]

.ILoveHim.ILoveHimNot.ILoveHim.ILoveHimNot.IHaveNoFuckingIdea.

Picking petals, wishing for clarity
but finding none;


& my moods swing faster than the pendulum
in the grandfather clock;
until apathy takes over
[& everything stops; & I just don't give a damn anymore]


You're on my mind every minute
[of EVERY DAY]
whether it's because I love you
or hate you

[either way, it's driving me up the fucking wall, & I just don't know how much longer I can take this]

.it's.time.to.self.destruct.

ILoveHim.IHateHim.ILoveHim.IHateMyself.IHaveNoFuckingIdea.




[get out of my head]

Author notes

Madison Mary.

'disguised as a hero to get past your borders'

'Emotion~Overrated~Underappreciated~Overwhelming'

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • silver-X-lining gold member
    November 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome! Creative, and I like the way you structured this piece, especially with the almost-repetition at the beginning and end.

    You convey your emotions well in this piece, and your emotions are confused and complex indeed. Great word usage and imagery in this piece. Especially liked the second stanza: the pendelum is a clear and captivating image. The second two lines of that stanza are also beautiful.
    I didn't like the following stanza as much; the third and fourth lines of that were not as creative or as beautifully written, just kind of plain and not as interesting, and didn't do much overall for the piece. The rest of the poem, however, was brilliant.

    Overall, though, I loved this piece. It's well-written, unique, and emotional. Well done, and thanks for entering...

    ~QoA


  • as.phy.xi.ate.
    November 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it

    Simply said it is perfect for the emotion I really wanted in this contest! I know the exact &*@%!!!GAH! Feeling lol and I loved how easy this piece was to read! Everything flows so well and smooth and your cursing (which I usually don't enjoy cuz it takes something special to make it work in poetry) was well used and intelligently placed!

    Good Luck And Thanks a Bunches for entering!


  • ultimate beluga
    October 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow! ive never judged this type of poem before (dirty pretty right?) but this was easy to read, so that was good!
    i loved the rhythm and the way the words just flowed. this is such a relate to-able subject too!
    oh, and your swearing was great!
    thanks heaps for entering!


  • delightfulmess silver member
    October 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a great entry in the contest
    best of luck to you


    Delila


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    October 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Babe I feel exactly the same at the moment about Karl [read my poems for more info]. It's the wanting him but him not being here for me and not listening and I don't know who to blame myself or him. Whether he's a bad guy or still the most magnificent man ever. I'm starting a long serenade, better stop it before it starts. Great write anyway, definately know how that feels. Keep writing ♥. It breaks you, but it's beautiful whilst it lasts [Love that is].


  • theworldisquiethere
    October 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved how picking the petals was a means of deciding whether or not YOU are in love with the guy, not the usual -- "is he in love with you?". I also liked "moods swing faster than the pendulum" -- a vivid image.
    Good write!

    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!


  • genderideals--
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    & my moods swing faster than the pendulum
    in the grandfather clock;;
    until apathy takes over
    [[& everything stops; & I just don't give a damn anymore]]


    a lovely stanza for a great poem. :]
    good luck.


  • Dashed Hopes1992
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i feel isolated, being a male commenting on this poem. your wordings were nice,and your metaphor. kudos, a million


  • xDarKRosE
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love it.. And I can so relate to it. I am always wondering if I love *him*.. Someone... And when I think about it and I dont know how I feel it makes me sick. I read it and it almost brought me to tears. They say if you question if you love him then you dont really. Personally I think that, that saying is Bull shit. People question this all the time for one reason or another. I know I love him but sometimes I wonder. Many people will be able to relate to this. It is wonderful and is full of emotions. I used to think I was a terrible person for not know and that I was the only one who questioned. Now I see other people do too. This poem is beautiful and wonderfully written.

    If you sometimes think you love him.. you probably do.. But there any many things that can make you question...

    Amazing poem.. I give you kudos because it helped me and the poem is just freaking amazing. Great write... Keep it up!

    -Sorry for the rant by the way. Great write

    -Tammy


    • Madison Mary
      October 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for that beautiful comment. I felt exactly how you did - being a terrible person for questioning - but now that I've read that, I see I'm not the only one. *Hug* I'm sure things will be ok for both of us. We'll figure it out along the way.
      Madison


  • wishing-well
    October 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "mood swing faster than a pendulum"
    that is womenly beatuiful


  • Norea
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it's different. there was so much you could do with this but, i don't think this was one of them. i'm sorry i didn't like it but, it's just that this could have been much better.

    ~ Nana Nicole Ramsey

    • Madison Mary
      October 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, I agree with you. It was for a contest that used your emotion at the time for inspiration though, and I guess this is just what came out. Have you got any suggestions on how I could improve it? Thanks for your comment.
      Madison

1 - 13 of 13