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indian giver

I gave you 48 hours
and you gave me your heart

You don't know
this is the smallest window
we'll ever have

The dull walls of my apartment
will know
the imprint of my back,
and your smile
will seep under my door
into my sheets

But time changes nothing
except the way you smell

so,
I will turn back
twenty eight hundred odd minutes
and return the pulse to your chest.

tick tock heartbeat



Author notes

1. Real: Angie User: AngieMae
2. Age: 18
3. Amount of Poetic Experience: One creative writing class, mostly just my personal writing
4. Typical/Strongest Style: Freeverse, streams of conciousness
5. Unusual/Weakest Style: rhyme, sometimes clarity of meaning
6. Favorite Type of Inspiration: My life, music
7. Amount of Multiround Experience: none
8. Some Accomplishments: my independence
9. One Fact I Don’t Know About You: That some of my poetry that comes across relationship-based is actually more inspired my family and friendships
10. Additional Comments You’d Like Me To Read: most of my poetry comes from just a line or a thought and I build a piece around it. It can come off rough, so I'm always open to creative criticism

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • blackday
    March 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gahhhhh. That ending way PRICELESS. You are seriously talented. You have so much.. yeah. I really loved this.

    Here's your link into the group. :]]

    http://allpoetry.com/group/show/project%20poetry


  • sistabigbones
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    whoa

    powerful. you pack a lot of punch in few words, I appreciate that. admire it. wish I could do that. I think the title could be changed to fit better but unfortunately I don't have any suggestions =/ sorry. great write though

  • Eusebius
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    Ouch! A politically incorrect title, but a potent piece of poetry here nonetheless! bravo....

    • AngieMae
      October 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ya...I was tempted not to use this title, but I want to juxtapose the childhood memories of giving someone a toy or trinket and taking it back. It's not meant to offend, just a phrase I used in preschool before I knew any better


  • Romanee
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    You really captured the essence of memory, a deep intense lust filled memory, it was beautiful to read, I like how it didn't rhyme, because not all poems need to rhyme, and I think if this did rhyme it would take away from the intensity of the piece, well I loved this, great write, keep it up, Romanee, xx


  • Vile
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    You have a very unique, "short but sardonic" style of writing. It's simple, and yet at the same time so much deeper... I can't really explain what I'm thinking due to lack of sleep, but I felt the need to tell you that I really enjoyed this poem, along with your other pieces and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more.

1 - 6 of 6