morning sun bed alone silence deafening
No coffee singing pop on my bottom saying get up baby
No no no Oh God began silently praying
slid to the floor away from window
pull on jeans shirt
boot knife each boot gun jacket pocket
slide up the wall watch out the window curtains not moving
he's there camouflaged waiting for birds I can't hear
they won't land an hour I become the enemy
lightly down stairs dog in my coat
front door inch by inch slide the porch on my belly
down the steps we are gone barn is cold
the horses hungry stud kicking walls
too late mistake hear breathing
crouch down watch the man I do not know
come closer green I said stop your in my space
don't come further my husband taught me this
yellow stop or I will protect myself
Red scream torn from me as I lift the 38
hesitated looking for recognition
he was on me 240 pounds marine fury
135 pounds of his terrified wife
Boot knife slid from my hand to his heart
meant to be that way
while training us as flashbacks started
knew he would go insane if I was harmed
made me promise one hand on the Bible
the other on my womb his son lay growing
miss your daddy baby God I loved him so
Author notes
Rheea
Comments
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Wow! Gurgle. This is very scary! Very stream of concious... like the way the mind jumps from image to image, idea to idea...
Love your new avatar... -
I really shot myself in the foot with this contest. so many great pieces are showing up that i am having a hell of a time keeping the number down to five.
This piece is so full of life (even with death) - a product, I think, of the stream of consciousness format, the lack of punctuation, and the theme.
In some ways, I need more structure. I want the lines to become more than stream of consciousness, to capitalise on the narrative held here. (This is not to say that the piece is not powerful enough on its own - just my personal reaction upon reading.)
I'm not bouncing this because it is not a great piece, but because it doesn't resonate in me the way some of the others do. However, I am adding you to my favorites so I can keep an eye on you - you have much to say.
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