Blessed be he who is without a heart
For he will not allow the pain to start
Despair said he was the lover
Who would hold onto me like no other
He did not lie but it was a price
To endure the pain cold as ice
Enslaved to the heavenly scars
That he left forever on my heart
Return to the eden of death
To reclaim your heart and lose your breath
God forgot the flesh that made love here
For they were so like him without pain or fear
Return to the eden of death
And destroy all the beauty you had left
His name is unwritten on every page
On the list of the dammed and enraged
Every touch upon my skin he creates
Makes my heart weep until it breaks
The hunger of him inside of me
Is like torture in its highest degree
But still if he calls I will go
To feel a love no pure soul could know
Return to the eden of death
To reclaim your heart and lose your breath
God forgot the flesh that made love here
For they were so like him without pain or fear
Return to the eden of death
And destroy all the beauty you had left
You are my savior so return
It is only for you that I ever yearn
So in the eden of death we
Can forever be in love and be free
Author notes
Pete.One day nothing will stand in our way.I promise.
xxx
Option 9 eden
A contest entry
- Love by Lost-Lezzy-15.
475 points, ended October 10, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - contest by lee-sharp.
300 points, ended October 6, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspired by Decay by Haunted Doll.
680 points, ended October 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite. by layla..
300 points, ended October 28, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come And See by tears.of.silence.
1200 points, ended November 6, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever You Want It To Be by dead-love-for-fun.
700 points, ended November 26, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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cool poem ! really enjoyed reading it !
favorite lines :
"To reclaim your heart and lose your breath"
"You are my savior so return
It is only for you that I ever yearn
So in the eden of death we
Can forever be in love and be free "
thank you so much for entering and best of luck in the contest and just wanted let you know , you are a gifted poet
your friend and host ,
alex hex -
This was intense and very true. It had a smooth flow and excellent rhyming. Thank you so much for entering this piece and good luck!
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I love you sooo much
xxx
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This is a great poem!!
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Quiet
interesting. You've done well. I feel the rhyme was a bit choppy and I got lost within the flow of the poem. Even though the poems meaning was beautiful, I just felt it need more to it. Thanks for entering. -
this was absolutely beautiful. it had such sorrow and amazing imagery.
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you may want to look into using meter.
there was nothing particularly impressive about the simple couplets, nor was there anything particularly shocking in your content.
it all came off a little unsophisticated. if youre going to write lyrics, i would advise trying to vary up rhyme and length in a more free verse manner for the non-chorus. -
wow
i really love this piece how youve got this ouble edged sword in some ways almost like heaven is a cage and eden is just an extension.i love the hunger of him inside of me. beautiful.
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i liked this alot =]
All the biblical references mixed with the dark stuff = awesome poetry heh
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good
thanks for your entry! It's well-written
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