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taupe

the soft slope of linen
over your hands,
delicate and brutal in one breath.

this energy is seismic, unyielding
yet,
your temperate listening
pulls me—
in
and through your eyes
like a needle, threading
and unraveling
strand by strand.

slow stitch:
tear this sheet apart,
a gentle deconstruction
before we realign with each other
and breathe a new aura—

no longer tepid
no less abhorrent.


Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • tragedienne
    October 30, 2007

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    Brilliant

    This is amazing! I'm so glad you commented on one of my poems so I could find this one. It's exquisite. What really made me read this over and over again is the fact that I still don't know what you're talking about - and I love that! lol You create a mood, a color, even some kind of sound without giving away everything so it's left to every reader to imagine what they will. You managed to intrigue me to no end with a very short poem. Oh, and I'm in love with your imagery, especially "delicate and brutal in one breath." and the last two lines. The ending kind of pours some cement over the uncomfortable feeling that you've built with the rest of your piece.
    Wonderful, wonderful writing! I'm hooked.


  • Beating gold member
    October 8, 2007

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    you're right. Colour and sound really are linked to emotion and both things seem to remind us of the other. I like how you caught a mood, a colour and an emotion with this piece. It's just really good!


  • quantumsurveyor
    October 3, 2007

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    You have caught a mood, a moment and expressed with such vitality the aura that is life and love. Thanks you for sharing this.

  • Remlek
    October 2, 2007
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    Amazing :)

    It is absolutely beautiful. Good luck in this contest.


  • IronIcecream
    October 1, 2007

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    what kind of taupe?

    I'd say sandy taupe seeing the color of your fonts
    but there are also mauve taupe pink taupe gray taupe etc
    I believe there is a connection between color sound and emotion too
    but taupe is cooled down faded tone; more decorative than expressive.
    But beyond the aesthetics, reading through this prism makes me think of tired eyes hiding smoldering hope somewhere, behind closed eyelids.

    And I think it’s suggestive more than enough for just taupe.


    • and the tide rises
      October 2, 2007
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      I usually think of taupe as a bland, neutral color - but for whatever reason it seemed to fit my mood at the time.

      The specific hue - pretty true to definition, but I also considered a texture, like caramel.

      Definitely some hope, but sort of afraid of itself, not sure it wants to show yet, but it's there.

1 - 7 of 7