Ellipse of thought
never reaching full circle,
the pull of countless eons
throned in sightless prison.
Peak of logic attained,
only to fall back to recklessness;
wave of eternal chaos’
ebbs and flows, bringing only jetsam.
Perfect knowledge fully realized,
taken one neuron at a time;
an insidious mental rape
of the hemorrhaging mind of emotion.
Emotion supplants perfected lucidity,
calm contemplation utterly banished,
usurped by a wall of rage,
cacophony of emotion trampling reason;
Ebbs Ebbs Ebbs Ebbs
And And And And And And
Flows Flows Flows
Author notes
It feels odd this piece. Oh well.
What is this one about?
Not telling on this one, the lines are there to be read between.
A contest entry
- release your thoughts by Its-Deja-Vu.
450 points, ended October 8, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - show me again by slipperssun.
800 points, ended October 26, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
wow!
This poem was really good. Had lots of big and powerful words! Keep it up! And i liked the ending. The format!
-
-
Thanks. I think it was the impact of the format, particularly the ending that I was going for the most.
-
-
definatly an intense write here... thank you for your entry into my contest and i wish you all the best
cheers
Jen
-
-
Thank you. I'm glad it has came across that way.
-
-
Fantastic
This is truly a unique piece. Best of luck in the contest! -
-
Thank you, I started out writing this piece with the hope of it being different from my usual style.
-
-
the image that comes out the strongest to me in this is one of indecisiveness... and having a difficult time making a decision. the ending written that way i found to add to the poem... like releasing thoughts through the ebb and flows... yet still unable to make up your mind.... good write.
-
-
Thank you. Indecisiveness is definately a part of this, also the highs of clarity driven by thought and the depths of depression and the constant swinging between the two.
-
-
I was just watching Prison Break, and in tonight's episode the whole idea of "ebbs and flows" was mentioned in it. I thought it was cool, cause it immediately reminded me of that part in your poem. I don't think you got the idea from the show, because there's no way you could have seen it earlier because they are all new episodes. But yeah, just thought i'd let you know cause I found it interesting
-
-
Thank you. We only just started to get the new series of Prison Break over here, but it's a program I've never gotten around to watching, so I missed any ebb and flow reference.
-
-
Oh, this one is sooo interesting. I am still reading it over again to gain different insights as to what you are trying to convey in this. I really liked the ending how you did the whole wave of "Ebbs and Flows" That was very unique. I like the whole scientific terminology in this as well, these lines were brilliant "Perfect knowledge fully realized
Taken one neuron at a time
An insidious mental rape
Of the hemorrhaging mind of emotion" This was a wonderful piece *3 applauds* -
-
Thank you. I wasn't sure if the ending was going to work or not, or just make it look stupid.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
