Let us sing our love song in the dead of night,
As we dance barefoot in the secluded glade
Where echoes of childhood memories
Haunt us still.
Let us shed our souls of history's tight grasp,
Just as we shed a silent tear in exaltation
When our lips touch, then melt together,
Lost in loves embrace.
Let us lay our hearts bare under the gaze of the stars,
As we lay bare, entwined in harmonious bliss,
Awaiting judgment from the heavens
But asking only for acceptance.
Author notes
unrepentantsoul
Critical comments, please
Comments
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I thought the language used was beautiful. I enjoyed this poem. I think the last two lines sum it up beautifully.
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I like the sentiments expressed - some very pure emotion and sweet, enticing images... I like the innocence and sense of wonder and whimsy and longing conveyed in this piece... reminds me a bit of a nursery rhyme...


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Some lovely lines within this poem, though personally not sure I would have placed the latter two there,beautiful as they are. Well done.


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this is beautiful.. i really love poems to do with love i get butterflies in my stomach.. and my stomach was going crazy in this...


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The title is a bit mundane, but the piece is amazing. it really spoke to my senses. This was beautiful. I don't think you should change a word, but If I had written it, I would have formed the versus a bit differently. But The way I would have done it, would have been my style. And this is your poem, so it is certainly your style. Again, this is a brilliant piece. One of the better ones I have read here on AP. That is my honest opinion.
Great job.
Much Love
Carrie
P.S. After reading this piece a few times, I think that the title "Star Gazers" would have been really neat
Not a request, just an idea. Good luck.


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thank you for your comments on this and my other poems, I'm glad you enjoy reading my work, it's always nice to have fans :-)
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this was pretty intriguing piece of work!eventhough the title is quite common, the rest of the poem compensate it all with an originalstyle, filled with a lot of emotion!well done indeed!


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