The casino lures you in,
with all the prizes you can win.
The neon illuminates the night,
attracting you like a moth to the light.
Slot machines, poker, blackjack, roulette.
You're already a millionaire in your head.
Just place your ultimate bet.
Odds or even, black or red?
[Pre-Chorus]
You're able to lose it all,
still you make the final call.
[Chorus]
One more game, one more dollar!
On your neck is the collar,
made by lovely Lady Luck.
You keep on playing, you're stuck!
You're beaten by the clubs,
when you play in the pubs.
The beauty of diamonds will blind you.
You'll lose your money, don't lose your mind too.
Your grave is dug by the spades.
For you no more maids or parades.
You're hypnotized by beating hearts.
When they're broken, you'll see the parts.
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
The game is over, you're broke.
All your chips went up in smoke.
The deadman's hand and the roll of the dice
brought you your financial demise.
[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]
A contest entry
- Ace's Playing Card Inspired Contest by AceOSpades.
950 points, ended January 13, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This one is a tough one for me... there are quite a few really good bits, but also some weak ones.For example : "Your dreams are broken, I can see the parts" is weak in terms of rhyme, rhythm, and just as a line. It's the only line that mentions the "I" in the poem, so unless that was extremely deliberate for some reason, it's jarring. I think one good edit will make this poem great.
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excellent
wow..a write on the lure of gambling..excellent and the background also fits right in..love this line
You're hypnotized by hearts.
Your dreams are broken, I can see the parts.
dreams as well as one's life..broken..all for the possiblity of hitting it big..so sad..so many lives it has claimed..thanx for sharing..and best of luck in the contest
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Oh, wow. That is really great.
The rhyming is rhythmic and intelligent.
And it makes a strong statement about gambling and casinos.
Good work!
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