You壇 best keep both eyes open
You値l never know when I値l come
To disturb your fragile reality
Show to all what you致e become
You hide behind your charm
You wear it falsely and with pride
I値l expose you to everyone
For the man you are inside
A vain schemer and abuser
Reckless with other people痴 hearts
Such disregard for others
As their lives you tear apart
Sleep with one eye open
'Cause I知 just around the bend
And when I get my hands on you
Retribution I値l extend
Author notes
Hmmm... what can I say! This is about my ex... he deserved his come-uppance!!
(Thanks PursuingHappiness for picking me to go through to the next round of compeition... and the next..
A contest entry
- PREWRITE CONTEST>>>>BREAK_UPS by PersuingHappyness.
400 points, ended November 2, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Someone's in trouble....sorry you had to deal with someone who's a:
A vain schemer and abuser
Reckless with other people’s hearts
Such disregard for others
As their lives you tear apart
Nice write though
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Somebody's been EXPOSED...
Reading this makes me think just how much your poetry style has evolved. (If you read my older poems that always won HMs, when they won anything at all...you'll realize you can't read my older poems).
"fragile reality"
Reality is fragile. Death comes for you...
And wow, what I said was awfully morbid.
"You hide behind your charm"
How true!! Charming people are bastards. e.g. politicians, normal people
"I'll expose you to everyone"
I have to say...this is deliciously wicked & hilarious. Considering the context...
"Retribution I'll extend"
Sounds like the hand of REVENGE
Your new stuff is much better, but this is still pretty awesome (:
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dude better watch his back
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All I can say about this one is....atta girl! Karen put it as deliquetly as possible....payback is a bitch! I probably would have said....'suffer you scum'. just dont leave him that Penny in his cup if you see him destitute on a street corner. He doesnt deserve it lol.
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Hey can I send this to my ex? I think he needs a little reminder too, you go girl, payback is a bitch.... lol
Karen
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yet agin another truly amazing poem, very expressive! i can feel the anger buling up in me!
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Sounds like someone want to invoke some revenge. Nice piece
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Exelent poem
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You know what? I am in love with this poem. If only I could've put it into words like this. This is amazing and an excellent way to express how it feels. Great write!!
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OMG!
hopefully some chicky babe will break his heart hmmmmmmm -
JUDGED
lol.... it made me laugh... some guys need to be put in their place don't you think..... if he was your ex. did you break it to him bad lol....
Well I thought this peice was very well written and I enjoyed reading it very much... even though I wanted sad poems I think that I can make a couple oof exceptions for the really good pieces... (but shhhhh... don't tell anyone lol)
Thank you so much for entering and good luck -
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Thanks! Well, he cheated (serial cheater!!), so we broke up... then I got my revenge! haha
Oh yes, sorry, I went for the more angry rather than sad breakup... gotta couple of those tho....
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Wonderful Work
Wonderful dark piece this is of threatened revenge. Your imagery was superb and the dark threat of this was stark and forceful. The rhyme was brilliant too. I can feel the anger within this piece. Keep writing, you have talent.
Wayne
x
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Well, well, well.
It certainly is well written. It's very ominous in the last couple lines. If I were that guy, I'd sleep with one eye open alright. Well done.
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This is such a brilliant poem. I absolutely loved it. Although you are angry with this person, you have risen above it, and have penned a wonderful poem here to suit. Well done.
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Thank you !! Oh, I was very angry, and wrote this from the anger. And the most interesting part to this story is that, in the end, HE exposed HIMSELF for what he was, for all so see, by his behaviour! I'm glad I did rise above it and never had to do the exposing... a silent victory.. yay!
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You were right, Awesome!
This poem definatly mirrors what it is I feel inside! Although I love the man I'm with there is nothing more I would like to do then exact my revenge on him for the pain and angst and unloyalty I have felt all these years! Yet somehow I cannot let go when it would probably be better to....he is almost like an addiction! Thank you SO much for your words of encouragment...it always helps to know someone feels the same way in a hard time in life! I'm gonna read your other work now...
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absolutely brilliant!!
hahahahaaaaaaaaa awesum!!!!!!! i freakin luv it!!!! i laufed it is so genius! beautiful!
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Hey.. thanks!!! I'm glad you got that it was kinda tongue in cheek... kinda!! lol
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