I say I won't waste one more solitary tear crying over you
But all in all I can sadly say I know it isn't true
I finally see perfectly well that you aren't the one for me
But I'd still do anything for that to really truly be
Now I know that I should really start to move on
But it's just so hard when you come up in every single song
I try to pack my bags and get my heart to go away
It's harder for me to do than just to simply say
I think I'm over you until I see your smiling face
Then I get that feeling that can never be erased
But you look at her with such desire in your eye
A look that if you'd give to me, for it I would die
Why do I stay with you when you only hurt me so
When you think of me I'm just a creature so low
You play with my emotions saying I'm your best friend
But I know you only want to use me in the end
I want to say that I can look at you without tears
Able to stand proud next to you without fears
But I know that in the end I'll fall into the dust
Dying from the feeling of unattainable lust
Author notes
I'm rather happy with how the poem turned out, even though I'd rather wish I had more happy things to write about.
[[For Contest: 'Feelings'
and..
I read the one that was don't give in to sin]]
-thatONEweirdChick
In a list
A contest entry
- Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me you feelings!!! by fire angel.
300 points, ended November 13, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lust & love by whiterabbit..
375 points, ended January 6, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Input always loved...
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I'm sorry that you've had such bad experiences with love. This was a sad, but well written write. I can sort of relate to this poem too. I was inlove with this guy that treated me like crap and I finally after years realized that I deserved somebody better. That all the time, effort, and tears I put into my life from day to day was not worth it. I was not happy. Then I let someone new in my life and he was everything that I had imagined. I knew I was really in love. Now I'm in love, engaged, and happier than ever. You have to make choices in your life, some may turn out to be bad, but if you don't take that risk won't you regret it later. You deserve someone better too. Just think about it, are you truly happy, if not only you can change that. Don't be afraid that you will never find another like him. Don't be afraid of the pain that you will go through for awhile dealing with letting him go. And don't say you can't let him go. I believe everybody has somebody out there for them and there's somebody out there for you too. That will treat you a whole lot better. Go out and experience true love, believe me it's the best feeling you will ever have in your life. I'm sorry if you didn't want my advice, but you don't have to listen to it, I just thought I'd try to help you.
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Like always you pack it with emotion.
Strong first line thats pulls...to the strong end.
"Dying from the feeling of unattainable lust"
nice. Good title too. (I have one by the same name, lol) Great job.
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WOW
This is a really good poem. Good job, I like your style it just flows out. Good job.
-XxshadowedcherryxX -
OH MY GOD!!!! This sooooooo reminds me of a lifetime movie!!!! 'cept you didn't give in to your temptaions!!! WHY!?!! Must you be the good one?!!!?! Girl go get your MAN!!!!!
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This is really great. Thanks so much for entering it. The emotions seem so real and raw. It's so hard to move on from someone, to get them out of your head. It hurts when you want things to work out but you realize that it will never be
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I really love this poem you painted a picture in my mind which is what I love for poems to do. Very expressive and I deeply delighted in this~blessings to you always~
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Oh, don't we all wish we had more happy things to write about. I still enjoyed reading it though, it was well put together and expressive. Good luck in the contest.
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thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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dark feelings of betrayal and lust - two dangerous points. Very well done. I enjoyed how you painted your feelings as well as the one holding you in this state. ~ Mikey
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this is a good write. Really lasting effect.
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Very good write. thanks for joinging the Group. Hopefully we can make it fun. I have some great ideas for it.
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hmmmmm....lovely work in here!you took some simple words and turned them into a waterfall of meanings and emotions!well done!good luck in the contests!
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im a member in silvos group viewing while i have time you did a awesome job in this piece here i love be awaken by something fresh absorving a new
take care
mrs enthralling -
Brilliant
I absolutely loved this poem. It is so filled of emotions and feelings and I loved your choice of words. This poem flowed wonderfully and I really enjoyed reading through this.
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thank for sharing.
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good job!
Your poem is good. You may wish for happier things ti write about, but you cant write about them until you release the saddness. When you write about the sadness and release it, then you can write about happier things. -
Love it. Very heartfelt and emotion-packed. It makes the reader get in touch with the built up emotions very well. On top of that, it was very well written and enjoyable to read from start to finish. Keep writing..
Thanks for sharing this,
Silvos.
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