Do not disdain my rumpled clothes
My dirty hair, this sun-worn skin
I wore fine suits, shoes, and cologne,
Before this cruel life did me in.
This dirty hair, this sun worn skin
Not the face I prefer to show
Bad luck, bad choice, a tragic spin,
All hopes, all dreams, trod down below.
I wore fine suits, shoes, and cologne,
A lovely home was mine to stay
True friends would call, had I a phone
Alas, they took it all away.
Before this cruel life did me in,
Thousands called me boss, you see
I was a quite important man.
Good times, before the S.E.C. ...
Author notes
S.E.C. = Securities Exchange Commission, government agency that oversees many failed corporations.
A contest entry
- Form Contest Series - Retourne by CitrineSunrise.
800 points, ended October 2, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry! by Kiran.
1050 points, ended October 29, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is so sad, and knowing it could happen to anyone makes it almost scary! Adapted very nicely to the Retourne Form adding the end line rhyme was added difficulty! Well done... delivered a powerful message!
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I love this form, and this is a very heartfelt and poignant story that you have told. Thank you for entering such a great piece and all the best to you!
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This was well written and told a poignant story. I liked the fact that you added rhyme. After reading this poem twice I still found the rhythm in the third line to be off a little. "I wore fine suits, shoes and cologne" has the correct tempo. Thank you for your entry. Peace, Liz
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This is so emotional. It made me tear up.
Best of luck in the contest!
~Dian
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Great story of an issue we have seen all too often ... unfortunately. Like the form too! Excellent poetry Mallig.
Good luck in the contest. ...JB♥
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