She put her cigarette out on the glass table
All the once empty cups full of filters
Smoked to the parallel gold lines
Gently placed between the dainty paper
and clotted purifier
Gazing at the charcoal stain
placed harshly on the once translucent surface
She planted her cancer between shaking fingers
Flicking it toward a shattered picture
Exquisitely mutilated, hanging on the wall
Sharp flakes from a choked relationship
Strewed upon the floor, from a colorprint
Of a dehydrated relationship that had lost all pigment
A cigarette butt, now sitting on the remains
Paying apologies to the now destroyed love
She reaches into the cardboard coffin
Runs her thumb over the chilled broken steel
Once again breathing it the sweet exhaust
A violent ringing fills the room
No words can console this extravagant grief
Only haze and shards of glass....
Author notes
I really enjoyed writing this poem, especially after all the positive feedback from my last poem! I hope you enjot this one as well!
A contest entry
- When Hearts Break. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended October 1, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - you cant handle this by lee-sharp.
300 points, ended October 9, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovely Eternities Are For FairyTale Princesses.♥ by WishMeAway--x.
750 points, ended October 12, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rounds Contest [Dune Buggy] Round One by Naridill.
360 points, ended October 7, 2007, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Impress me. (Not an easy task) by FyreMyst.
500 points, ended October 7, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To say goodbye by BleedingBlackTears.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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enjoy?well its well written ill give you that but you werent in pain and thats what the contest was about.im sorry
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deeply expressed and powerful, i aches like all hell at my heart strings as this is very close and personal to me, interfamily related
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I really liked the intelligent visuals of this poem. Highly original. Good luck in the contest
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I love this, at first, I thought it was a little bland but it picked up brilliantly, started slow, caved in for a powerful and imagery filled beauty. A beautifully sad piece that I really loved.
Thanks for entering & much luck.
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ouch.
she killed him didnt she.
the whole smoking thing after a love or whatever lost. haha. yeah, so there.
nice job on this.
♥.lovelove. -
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wow....this is crazily beautiful and intense! I love the words u use and metaphors....vey unique and beautiful.
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I just love this!!
great word choice
and flawless imagery..
Beautifully sad.
~Pastel
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This is beautiful. The imagery is so vivid and the emotion so real! Congrats on the honorable mention! You deserved it (if not a higher place holding)
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Baby, you continue to amaze me with your talent. Everyday it's more and more apparent that you ARE a writer!
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Thank you for your most heartfelt entry, Josephine
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A living experience
turned deftly into art,
forever capturing the emotion
in stark imagery.
Exceptional!
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this is wonderful take it from me youcan write this was a dream to red so sad you write this well loved this metaphore is spot on and i wish you the best of luck in this contest
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The sadness and despair in this write are overwhelming nearly. Very intense write. The imagery was vivid with a smooth flow of words. Well done. Love it.
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Wow! this was just flat intense in its sadness
Man I am going to see a shinrk now and I am sending you the bill LOL just kidding, but this was flat good!!!
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Excellent
What a terrific expression from you thoughts. So wonderful creative and descriptive.
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This makes me want to give up the cigarettes. Very well presented and one that will make us all think. Thank-you for sharing.
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