fastingly feasting

With an empty stomach
think
thoughts more pure than silver
worry gone, no need for slumber
poetry does capture

What I thought important now
I throw it all away
and stumbling blocks of old I've skipped
right over, running free

I see
oh how I see!
just how simple life should be
how it can forevermore, as now
I see it be

My home work by the wayside
diligently done
completed with the satisfaction
foreseen when I'd begun
--come when I'd be done, and now I am

To life I give a cheer
new days ahead, no fear
without food in my stomach, maybe
still I fight
to resist the voice inside my head that says I am not worthy
for so I'm not
but God has shown me mercy!

All those "boxes" (burdens)
square, obtuse and bulky
big or small I gave them all
to Him who cares more for me
than I

With that
I like to think I've realized that I can't do it all
that through my greatest struggles,
time mis-managed/prioritized, friendships turned to heartaches, family, pornography, and
in general: me
Oh!, how I've suffered!
(and learned a few hard life-lessons throughout
but besides that)
well, perhaps I understand now:
I can hand God all of that.

My ears are ringging with the words
"Worry is not trusting in God"
to which the Devil counters
..."well who can?,"
with the sweetest tounge, to man
--sometimes it can be hard to cipher
who is who and what is true
but it is of the Devil
when the voice looks out for you

In the desert among the beasts and Devil's temptationous schemes
Jesus fasted forty days
and nights, in contemplation
meditating on God's word
his promises to man
or perhaps to him,
for he now sits at God's right hand
but what a battle he did fight!
--inside his head


How am I worthy!?
for so I am not, if only God's grace weren't enough
to forgive the sin I've begot
and if his love weren't poured to blood
on that sacrificial cross

And so I fast
and see things clearly
like how Jesus painfuly spoke
"I have food to eat you know nothing of,"
to which his disciples nearly choked
(and to them I do relate
for Peter denied Jesus three times
but Jesus--he forgave!)
He was feasting on the Word of God, his promises to man
or perhaps to him, for now
he sits at God's right hand

This is the message of my Lord,
my friend, my saviour, Jesus
who conquered even hunger, among others, unto death
and all to free us!
from the work of our own hands
chiming a bell loud in my head
for now I comprehend/understand
(well, perhaps to some way-small extent)
his great-big love for man

And so my life must be
and not my own; not lived for me.