The glow in your eyes
Shocking mine by surprise
Blinded by your beauty
My confidence must arise.
But you are more than a beauty.
You are the sunset
I follow into the night
I'm graced by your purity
As you glow with secrets
Into morning light.
It's amazing,
How your eyes touch mine,
The connection that we have
Seemed to override time.
But you are more than time
You are the moon
I travel to within miles
I float across time
As you glow in a room
Full of fallen tiles.
The glow in your smile
Sealing happiness in files
His name painted on papers
Revealing one secret lover.
But you are more than words
You are the writing
Signed into my heart.
Thankful that I overheard
Your heart saying
"I've loved him, from the start".
It's relaxing,
How your voice soothes mine
The mist of your breath
Capturing my every rhyme.
But you are more...
So much more
Your glow
Your light
Right here; Tonight.
I am more than alright.
Stepping forward;
You're speaking to me
The glow in your presence
In a short amount of distance
... Talk to me.
The glow in your voice
The glow in your touch
The glow in your kiss
The glow IS your love.
Author notes
I'm not sure, if this qualifies but okay! =]
Ry-Oetry vs PerfectImperfection
TOPIC: Romance (not erotica, not “true love,” but romance, a sweeping of someone off their feet sort of thing)
Ry-Oetry
A contest entry
- If I Was Your Girlfriend... by Pisces Pieces.
1500 points, ended October 25, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - An AP WAR!! by twilight seduction.
750 points, ended October 17, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Sweet... ?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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oh wow! very deep and sweet poem, i loved it
xoxo-christina
keep writing
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But you are more than time
You are the moon
I travel to within miles
I float across time
As you glow in a room
Full of fallen tiles.
I really enjoyed this poem! It was both sweet and loving. Just reading some poems on here. Glad I stopped here. Keep Writing!
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pretty good
Definitely romantic. Great expression of emotion. Tthe words were very sincere, making the piece much more authentic.
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How sweet. I love that you used "glow" to describe what you love about this person. It is in no way overused nor cliche. And very very passionate! 
Wonderful job!
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a soft heart u must have.
all the best and may the love live on forever
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SO FULL OF EMOTION AND DEFINITELY A ROMANCE PIECE.
ESPECIALLY THE PART THAT GRABBED ME THE MOST:
But you are more than words
You are the writing
Signed into my heart
Thankful that I overheard
Your heart saying
"I've loved him, from the start."
FROM BEGINNING TO END ITS FULL OF ORIGINALITY AND SO
HEARTFELT
THANKS FOR THE READ
luvpoet*****
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Judged
i will comment on what I think is good and what I think you might want to go over again:
GOOD: You wove me a stunning net of imagery and beauty, and yes, this certainly qualifies as romance! It was exactly what I was looking for. I like the quatrains best; the are teh most organized and pointed parts of your poem. i like the single line of "I am more than alright." Captured my interest again. Nice use of punctuation, although it was a bit much.
IMPROVEMENTS: This was very lengthy, and I see one of two spots you could shorten up. Some of your stanzas rhyming is a bit choppy (the syllable counts aren't close enough) and that damages the flow you create with the quatrains.
TS
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awwwww
this so sweet...it was so beautifully written and i loved the last stanza
"The glow in your voice
The glow in your touch
The glow in your kiss
The glow IS your love."
i loved it....great job!!
~mandy
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wow
i know how u feel. i have that same exact thoughts in my head. thats what i feel like tell my girlfriend thats deep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
This is a great poem. Please put in your authors comment box what member of my family you would like to me. Thank you and good luck in my contest
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U THE SHHHHHHHHHH......
WOULD YA CARE TO CHECK OUT MY RHYMES AND TELL ME WHAT'CHA THINK??? TY........HOLLA AT'CHA GIRL..........DREA -
REAL BEAUTIFUL
AWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....STOP IT I SAY.......THIS IS SWEET AND WONDERFUL TO READ, THANKS FOR SHARING. AND PROVING THERE IS LOVE IN THE WORLD..........DREA
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I like the concept, to me it has originality as I haven't read too many poems about that glow...
my favorite line is "...Talk to me" I'm not sure why but for some reason I love it It seems to say alot and I can almost hear it.
I love reading these poems that show such admiration for someone, I'm glad to know there are people out there who express it
Thank you!
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I felt the emotion that this poem throws out at you. It is very deep and something that I could read over and over again and still love it. Kudos! Keep up the writes!!!
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Beautiful
This was a great poem Ryan... we always seem to amaze me with such great poems all the time... I love your work and everything you do... My favorite part was
It's relaxing,
How your voice soothes mine
The mist of your breath
Capturing my every rhyme
That was the best part by far... keep up the great work... I loved it -
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=[c]
Thanks sexy! When are you about to write a new poem?!
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=[x]
Thanx for the comments!
GIMME MORE! =] -
Awwwwwww!
I loved this one ! Very sweeet and cuteeeeeeeee ! I love the word GLOW and you used it well throughout the poem ! I hope you were thinking about me when you wrote this , Ryan ! = D
My favorite lines ;
The glow in your smile
Sealing happiness in files
His name painted on papers
Revealing one secret lover.
Good luck in the contest . . . <33
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I found it to be quite romantic and sweet... You have such a unique style; very 'real' and unforced thought. Sincere in every attempt to outline the love within. Very nice!
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not much into romantic poems, but I think this was pretty good. I am glad that it was not erotica or I would have had to give you negative feedback, because that is definitely something I hate. But that is personal I guess.
Good write and good luck in the contest! -
Nice...it kept me reading, and I like that. Kudos!
adenrecreated
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i think you have expressed your emotion very purely and i like the line ' His name painted on papers
Revealing one secret lover.'
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hey this is really good i like it nice work you aint that bad
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