You've become the darkness Angelina
Can't you read the writing on the wall?
Can't you see that time is quickly waning?
You're the biggest loser after all
Traitor to the things you held as holy
Judas, a betrayer of the light
You've become the darkness, Angelina
A permanent companion to the night
Oh that I could lead you to the morning
Walk with you on painted fields of dawn
Let the calm of sunrise warm your spirit
Help you find a way to carry on
But morning is a danger to the conscience
And dawn can make it harder to forget
And you prefer the darkness, Angelina
As far away from sun as one can get
You've become the darkness, Angelina
A Judas, a betrayer of the light
Traitor to the things you held as holy
A permanent companion to the night
Can't you see that time is quickly waning?
Can't you read the writing on the wall?
You've become the darkness, Angelina
You're the biggest loser after all
Author notes
option3
A contest entry
- {This is} What HURTS the MOST ;; by Candy Morphine.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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last line of the first stanza is a VERYY good line, it could almost be a standalone poem. so much detail in so little words.
i did tend to feel the first line in the second stanza is a little awkward.
-second line is excellent imagery though.
=all four lines create a beautiful atomosphere, intense and emotive language.
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oh i really like this... the title caught my attention, i love the name angelina, and i love the line "you've become the darkness, angelina". beautifully expressed.
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the picture you chose is one of my favorites! i think you did a beautiful job expressing the picture and giving the girl a personality! thank you for entering and good luck!
NineTailedFox -
Wonderful Excellent Writing
Such a joy to read.
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bravo
A sensational poem! perfect rhyme and meter, you certainly understand what poetry is and what it can do...a great poem by a deft hand! bravo.. bravo.... bravo...
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Well I noticed I didnt drop a comment... well then let me congratulate you on your work... how have ya been?
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Poor Angelina.
I hope she is not lost beyond recapture. Question of my own: Does your Muse visit you randomly, or do you do something to spark your inspiration? If you do something, I would LOVE to know what. Good work.
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this is a good poem as well as all your other's you are very talented
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This is great! I love your rhyme scheme in this.
It really flowed very well! This sounded almost like a rough draft to a song you maybe writing? Well done and keep up the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
Firstly, as I always have to say because you're so damn good! Great rhyme and great flow all the way through, you produce some really luscious images with your words.
I would say it is about someone (possibly an angel - hence the name, or someone you thought of as an angel) who after a while lost their way (became hypocritical over things they once said or did), who you tried to help but they refused to be helped. My interpretation could be (and tell me if it is) quite wrong, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.
Great work, great poet, love it ^^ x take care x
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I sometimes try to read some meaning into your words ...
this is going to take some time. Darkness yes, but the rhyme is beautiful as usual. You aren't showing up when you post something new ... dang.
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Yay for your posting, again! My favorite part, which is so incredibly delicious to me, is "Oh that I could lead you to the morning/Walk with you on painted fields of dawn/Let the calm of sunrise warm your spirit/Helpp you find a way to carry on." What beauty!!! Thanks so much for sharing. Hope you're doin' well and getting some rest!
Katy
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