Tossing and turning,
Until I fall asleep.
Awaiting the most unrestless,
Night to me.
Seeing that face,
It makes my heart race,
Running away,
As fast as I can.
Afraid to cry,
Shush he will hear me.
I knock over a cup,
He snapped his head my way.
Oh no I pleed,
As I now know,
He has heard me.
I jump up and start running,
He begins to chase me,
This person is familar,
But yet,
Why would he do this to me?
Screaming for help,
Begging and pleeding,
That you would hear me,
And come to save me.
Then I hear you,
In far distance,
You go up to him,
And help him catch me.
Then he knocks me out,
You chain me to a wall,
You light the candles to see,
I beging to weep,
Thinking,
Why do this to me?
To the left I looked,
Twas then I seen,
That you my only love,
Was teaming up,
Then was planning to kill me.
Author notes
I know I told you i didn't sleep well last night, and this is why...
A contest entry
- To dream these dreams by Lagrimas.
525 points, ended June 12, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
A restless night of dreams
Well I wanted to point out that unrestless is a double negative which would make its meaning a positive. If it was "un" restless that would mean it was restful. You might think about switching to just restless. And while I like the story being told I have a hard time following the thread you leave because of the format you use. Line breaks in most cases can be used like commas, and just like commas if used too liberally can confuse the meaning of the piece. Thank you for entering! -
sweetie,
this was amazingly crazy, great wright and so fucking deep like none other! i love it lots you did suck a wounderful job with your words i love you so much babe i hope you know that even though we dont talk as much as we use to you still have all my love..xoxoxox -
omg i'll guess this is it, so powerful and dark, i love it, it goes very well, excellent job sweetie!
it seems like an awful dream though!, lol
amazing job!!!
stephanie
-
WOW
THIS IS REALLY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!! KEEP UP WITH THE GREAT WORK!! AND HUN I'M SORRY YOU HAD SUCH A DREAM I HAVE THE SAME DREAMS LIKE THIS ONE MOST OF THE TIMES I'M SORRY..<3
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