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smack that

bending around you
with a black horse whip in hand
welts upon your ass

Author notes

mmmmm...naughty is backkkkkk

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • sgking123 gold member
    September 20

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    what a whip of a poem..on the butt hard and smacking. I loved this for the act and for the feelings that went behind the whip.Thansk for sharing dear


  • Edna Sweetlove
    September 18

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this one a lot. The bit I like best is the possibility of the play on words. A black horse whip has been used on an ass. I mean ass like donkey not like arse. Often great writers make Freudian slips like that.


  • myron silver member
    April 25
    Edit | Reply

    ouch

    Ah, what a striking haiku! I love it. It has a good, clean break at the end of the second line, and the images are vivid and startling.

    I like the way the haiku starts with such an evocative, sexy verb, too. great stuff!

    Ouch - i can feel the whip...

    Impressive work,
    Myron.


  • hisaddiction
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    holy shit!

  • PureHeart
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    Fucking Good. Whip me anytime.


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    After reading that, I don't think you ever left. Now that's what I call a very hot haiku. Be very proud of this one just for the pure eroticism alone (as you can for many other reasons).

    Ted E


  • Jacob S. Steadman
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha ha!Extreme.


  • fangs to blame
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    lol I like this love.


  • DragonflyDream
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    nice
    naughty
    good

  • Bruce silver member
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That's good! I love the last line! It jumps out at you.

  • eyelids shut
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    haha nice..


  • ukelova
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Naughty

    Hello there. Naughty is right! Very naughty.

    Just like this 17 syllable haiku.

    I like the fact that there is just the one clean break in your haiku, which is the traditional way to write them.

    Have a naughty day,
    BJ.




  • Lady Eventide
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, wow. Never seen a haiku quite like this one...which is a good thing, by the way. Great job. I thoroughly enjoyed my spanking!


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    October 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Can you say Owwwie LOL

    That has got to hurt but then again one would argue that it is you who is doing it so it would be worth it all. very well penned and Ouch still though LOL! this mad eme grab my butt and rub it LOL! kepe up[ the good work


  • Jcsketch82 gold member
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ouch...


  • Tarja
    October 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Amusing.


  • Nicotine Eyes
    September 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow. im like loving this poem.


  • HaleyMary
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Nice to see something new by you.
    I think you're the only poet I read who writes erotica haikus. The beats of each line are in sync and the write seems very naughty indeed. Keep writing.

1 - 21 of 21