Like molecules,
I live inside your seemingly-
weary composition.
To touch your senses-
is all that matters to me.
For now.
Freezing in your warmth,
and evaporating in your coldness-
means so much to me.
I know for sure.
My love is the figure-
of your speech.
`
Author notes
Written September 30, 2007
A contest entry
- liquid by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended October 3, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Weed'n by Nam.
1800 points, ended October 24, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Hah, a good one, one of the best I've read from you - old and new!!
I like the contradiction in this part:
"Freezing in your warmth,
and evaporating in your coldness-
means so much to me."
Bookmarked!!
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Very interesting - very clever use of metaphor. I liked this a lot.
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The ending was breath taking, simply drew so much depth from the beginning. I feel it was a perfect ending. Some parts through this piece seem although they want more, to read more into what has been started. I really feel more length would enrich this piece quite alot.
But as it is, it still shines bright, with strong imagery and beautiful metaphors. I really love the depth you took this piece too.
Thanks for entering & much luck.
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wow!!.. i love the way you played with words.. galing talaga!!
dont stop writing ha. you're doing a good (great) job!
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Oh this is wonderful. Love is the language, the figure of speech and how very creatively you've applied it in this poem. I simply love what you did here, my friend and I do admire your talent for writing succinct, yet powerful poetry that lingers in the eyes.
~ Nicolette
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Dude! this is awesome I loved the last few lines I love how you put the lines of intense certain inflecions and control the pace for the reader
You are one hell of a poet!
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