bound to this coil
we race place to place
like rats in a maze
chasing after cheese
drooling like dogs
to a conditioned response
and we don’t have a clue
what we’re supposed to do
because somebody else
is spinning the wheel
Author notes
PICTURE PROMPT
A contest entry
- IT'S A QUICKIE! 10/10/24 by HarvesterOfHearts.
400 points, ended October 1, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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so true...
but i don't drool i pant.. lol.
Very insightful write.
Congratulations on Silver.
Kathleen
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Wowza!!!!!
Oh My Gosh! the very start of your poem really set this poem into an incredibley smooth motion that I have never read. your middle is very interesting and well worded and that ending just really pasted it for you as you definitely earned this Silver trophy because this is just sheerly incredible. any ways Excellent poem all round and really love the wording through out! any ways nice work all round and keep up the Grrrrrrrrreat work.
Signed, Paul 
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It;s a well-composed poem and i like it. It's not quite clear to me but it';s something
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Oh that was amazingly well written and the spiral image fit really well with the colour and the sentiment! Keep writing
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I like this this once, so much like life, always on the go, with some else in control... Bravo...
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This is making me want to break the person whos spinning the wheel's arms so I can feel free again! *laughs*
That poem's uniqueness is making me feel like someone human is in my way, spinning my day, making it harder for me to tell them to stop. -
First... congratulations on the silver trophy. This was a strange piece... full of unique imagery and word choice. However I think it could have benefited by being a little longer... but what do I know!?
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Wow. Interesting. Well, what to do about the situation, eh? Find that person who is spinning the wheel and take it from them. Only we are the masters of our destiny...and God. Do you mean God in this poem? Interesting indeed. Good job. Loved how this was written. Congrats on silver.
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haha! oops. my pc sux
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Cool!
This is very true. We aren't in control of our lives most of the time. This bugs me sometimes. Btw, very much like "girls are like apples" lol. -
Cool!
This is very true. We aren't in control of our lives most of the time. This bugs me sometimes. Btw, very much like "girls are like apples" lol.
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Wonderful imagery
That 'somebody else' could be 'Big Brother.' I took from this that we are not in control of our own lives. That our lives are controlled by a secret society of people in grey suits, who pull the strings and we follow like puppets. Controlled automatons. Wonderful writing. You are good.
All the best
Wayne
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I absolutely adore this poem. I'm a big fan of nailing your point swiftly and that did this for me. I really like how the last stanza begins.
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This is interesting. A creative way to put that we follow in footsteps (most of us anyway) instead of making our own path.
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i love how this poem ends. i love this poem. it is such a different one. a poem you can rarely find. it's not about love or death or darkness. but something most look for but never find. and i do love the last stanza. it just pulls it all together.
good luck
~theharvester
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A really well thought out poem
I think poetry should either paint wonderful pictures in our minds or make us think; this poem does the latter.
You have summed up the hectic pace of modern life so well; we are no longer in control. Better to make time to watch the sun set, read poetry or have proper conversations with our children.
Thanks for posting this poem.
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Great poem.
Amber
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To come up with a poem such as this from the prompt provided is truly an amzing feat. What you have penned here holds such amazing depth. This sure looks like a winner to me as well. If only I was the judge, right? Good luck in your contest.
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You have done a fantastic job here and the inspirational words that flow from your pen as a result of the prompt is just so divine. This is a winner in my book.
♥ Touchof1der
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I like the way this picks up pace towards the end. "Drooling like dogs to a conditioned response" we often are unaware of the influences that are innate and that bind us. Well done
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Mind control is a ........ Love the pavlo reference. This expresses a lot and so real. ~Mykeee
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Short and Powerful
This is an amazing write! I really enjoyed "... drooling like dogs
to a conditioned response
and we don’t have a clue
what we’re supposed to do
because somebody else
is spinning the wheel..."
keep writing! Thank you so much for your kind words
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A great take on the prompt, reading the last stanza gave me a political view, or someone who has no control in a relationship, love it because it makes the reader think, and the piece is very open, for the reader to conclude an opinion.
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