Memories Of Absolution

I remember you.

I remember you the smile on your face, your lilting laughter, the softenss of your eyes. I loved talking with you, the way you listened and heard what i said, and always had something to say in return.

You always made me laugh and smile, my days a brighter time. You were my best friend, I loved you through and through. Then came a darkened night, and you lost some one close to you.

The drunk driver killed your brother, killed your friend. the car was smashed to pieces, and left nothingin its stead. You cried for days on end, locked away in your room. I didnt know what to do.

I came and visited you once again, and i actually made you smile, you laughed and talked back with me. You got out of bed and sat with me. I felt happy you were getting better, Even your eyes had seemed to sparkle some how once again.

Then you smiled at me once and turned around. A click. My heart stopped, I was cold, so cold, the kind of cold that lingers closely even in memories. I always remember that smile of yours so beautiful, but now it is interupted with that dreadful, almost silent click.

It was warm, like you, you always had warm hands, to match your warm heart. but it didn't warm me at all. I saw you fall. In slow motion your knees bent and hit the ground, backwards then toward me, you landed.

My hands shook slightly as it moved up to my own face and chest, to sample the feeling of the warmth that covered my icy skin. Red. Dark damning red. Thats what it was. You. On me.

I looked in your eyes on the floor, the floor which came up quickly to meet me. I was next to you. I held you in my arms, one hand in your damp matted hair. You didn't move, you didn't say anything. You stayed there staring up at me, with your last action marked on your face.

I didn't notice my tears, mingling with your blood upon my face. I didn't notice as the police came and tried to take me from you. I had to stay, to hold you, you were getting cold.

I scrubbed myself for hours that night. I couldn't be enough to keep you around. I didn't try enough to help you get better. Now I am stained by you, beautiful you. You are covering my skin, my skin that I just scrubbed till it bled.

I watched our blood mingling in the tub, swirling around into the drain, tears and water dripping off my face I remember how much I loved you. My legs were too weak to hold me up, I sat there until the water was icy pouring over me, not that I noticed much at all.

I remember your smile, right before you turned. I remember the laughter that was in your voice that night. I remember the look in your eyes. Resolution. Determination. Absolution.

I will always love you.