all the worthlessness i feel
suddely attackes at onece
i look at my blade
its just sitting ther bagging me
what whold stop me
who
i fell as thogh nobody cares
i want to fell happiness i realy do
but for some reason
i seam incapable
for so long i have felt this way
just to feel that i belong somewhere
that i am someones desier
it would be wonderful
but i am not good enogh for that
im just another anothe rnameless face
nobody wold notice if i disapiered
nobody would care
why shouldnt i just grab the blade
its so simple
one little cut
it would all be over
yea there would be people crying
but would theye realy care
or would they just be doing it for show
would they honestly miss me
or would they secritly be saying
"damn its about time"
Author notes
timberwolf1313 if you could go to your own funeral what would you see
A contest entry
- illusions of death....options ....options..and more options by completely mad.
600 points, ended February 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Good piece, few typos but good content. Best of luck in the contest
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very interesting piece, would you please put youe name and option in the AN..thanks....
completely mad -
i feel like this every day of my life. beautiful peice
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I loved this piece of yours. Im sure many people can relate and I know I did a couple of months ago. If you ever need to talk Im here. I know how it seems now but things will get better. And Im not talking about what you think. You will get better. You'll understand as time passes. You cant change the way other people treat you but there is one thing you can change and thats what people spend a while looking for when its just right in front of their faces. The flow in this poem was amazing. You just continue to amaze me. Keep Penning. And dont hesitate to take up on my offer.
Much Love and Peace,
PlZdieFasterLove
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i liked it i can releate to it :}
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ok when i write a poem and i put it online i dont change anything when i wrote this it took like 45 seconds i didnt care about spelling and i feel as though it shows the franticness of it all.
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I know what you mean; I've felt this same way...
One thing that bothers me is your spelling. It does distract from the piece. If I were you, I'd run it through Microsoft Word spell check, or find one online if you don't have Word.
As far as the poem itself goes, it's good. You express your emotions well... and yes, I've felt exactly the same more than once... but hang in there. After all, there always is somebody who cares, even if you don't think of them at the moment when you're feeling that way (been there)... and even if you don't really know they care about you that much. So hang in there.
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Um
Despite the fact that you have ALOT of spelling mistakes, it was a really good piece....
you know. some wise person says "you are not happy, untill you decide to be" and it's a really pretty quote...you can take it as an advice.
i loved the poem. you have some talent, keep writing.
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this is really good ! the only criticism i have is that you should check your spelling because I had some difficulty reading it at first, and it kinda took away from the poem. but besides that, i realy liked it cuz it's an emotional poem, and i have to admit, i can relate.
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Wow. That is a really good poem. I can relate a lot to it. I'm here if you need to talk. I know it is so hard to live when it feels like you have nothing to live for. So I'm going to give you a reason to live, live for me or some of your friends or your family! Just don't give up. I know how hard it is. *hugs*
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