Unaware by Luna Tique Fringe at All poetry

incubating emotion
percolating a notion
love's labored verse
births my devotion

dare I dare
to go there?

like Alice through the mirror
or down the rabbit's hole

to follow
words like crumbs
trailed along
serpentine paths

a feast for the hungry
I stumble and stare
and gather the fare
she feeds the dream

unaware?

Author notes

In a list

MY FAVORITE POEMS TO READ (other authors) • next in list

A contest entry

Meaningful Personal Connections - points increased! by ellipsist. 3150 points, ended October 24, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Please tell me what you think

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

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BluRosePoet8488
October 21, 2007

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Wonderfully written. It gives an air of an innocence while wondering through life and discovering a whole big world out there full of unaware people who make connections.
I like this. Keep the ink flowing and good luck!
~Donna~
tomisb
October 21, 2007

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words like crumbs feels like Hanzel and Gretel. The sensation of wonder and discovery come forward gently and full of wonder in this piece. Right delightful, I would say.
Love, Tom B.
ellipsist
October 21, 2007
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please do not rate or reply to my comment
even though I think I know who this is... I love the flow of this piece and the questioning feel and tone... I like the way "down the rabbit's hole" is used in this piece... I doubt that it was intended, but I just can't help thinking it's a little bit of a euphemism...

wonderful work on this one, poet... a strong piece
jo-el
October 1, 2007

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glad i made this visit. i did not meet with disappointment. the rhyme in the first stanza sounds excellent. like the comparison to a child like alice. it speaks of innocense in purpose. loved the next 2 stanzas. wow..especially the last one. that's exceptional...maybe also cause i can relate so well. the question at the end kinda challenges the whole innocent concept cause...deep down we sorta already understand what we're most likely dealin with, don't we? but not quite certain so the dice is tossed. and we play and gamble anyway. most excellent write.
MJ Donnelly
September 30, 2007

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A very eloquent tribute write, so full of emotion, and what wonderful metaphor, diction and voice as well; a truly enviable heart’s labor poetess.
Malabu
September 29, 2007

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dabbling in the rhyme scheme of things
how delightful..will sonnets be next...ive yet to perge one out myself...lol...but love what you have done with this delight...Ive always said you had talent...and who will dispute that?...not I said the wolf in the red hood...
I cannot lie
though my fingers are crossed
Mal
aliceramone
September 29, 2007

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very cool connections here and I see i made an apperance in the second stanza...lol...again, a cool write-your so cool.
liltandrhyme
September 29, 2007

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This is a wonderful tribute, bordering on hero-worship of a fellow poet who has obviously inspired you and influenced your writing.

There is humility and insecurity here 'dare I dare to go there' ( wonderful line! ), the questioning of the final word/line showing that while the admiration has not been communicated, you suspect that the influence has been perceived.

I hope that the hallowed poet reads and appreciates this.

PJ
HaleyMary
September 29, 2007

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Beautiful write. This makes me think of when people decide to go on a journey in their lives and take chances not always knowing what the results will be. Sometimes people take risks in life unaware of how it will make life turn out, but if people never took any risks, no-one might ever live. Good luck in the contest.
butterflywriter
September 29, 2007
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Wow! I love this...
good luck in the contest...