I sit alone in the darkness
staring into the night
smoking my last cigaratte
thinking about our fight.
What it is I'm doing wrong
I don't think I'll ever know
because the only time I ever hear about it
is when he gets mad, then it shows.
I want to make things work with him
I wish that I knew how
but with all the shit he's put me through
I don't think I can right now.
I wonder how he'd do without me
every time he yells, it comes to mind
if he wants me gone, I'll go
but could I really committ suicide?
I know I'm nothing without him
and I need him here by my side,
but when he wants to fight again,
I'll know it's the right time.
The only thing that bothers me
is leaving my little girl
ever since the day she was born
she's been my entire world.
So, No, I couldn't do it
someone needs me after all
and if he decides to leave
we'll just have to fall.
I'll learn to be independent
give my daughter all she needs,
at least she'll know mommy loves her
even if daddy leaves.
Author notes
First Option : Divorce.....I actually wrote this about 6 months before filing for my divorce.
In a list
A contest entry
- STRESS by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended October 20, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Trying Hard Not To Fall or ... Love is Falling apart by piccola.
600 points, ended September 19, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
I really like the story, love the last few lines;
"I'll learn to be independent
give my daughter all she needs,
at least she'll know mommy loves her
even if daddy leaves."
Reminds me of my mom, shes strong like this as well,
beautifully penned.
Thank you for your entry.
~Angel
-
This is a very strong, emotional write. You use good rhyme to put your feelings on the page which is not always easy to do. Some of my feelings are very private and stay inside ... Just one thing, this one verse:
"I want to make things work with him
I wish that I knew how
but with all the shit he's put me through
I don't know I can right now.
you may want to change it to "I don't think I can right now."
Just a thought. Thank you for entering. -
-
Thanks so much for the comment. I went ahead and changed it. It does sound better/make more sense that way.
-
-
very good write with your feelings. thanks for
entering.
-
This I read before i even wrote my poem and thats why i couldnt write mine ..we have alot in common , i felt every painful moment of this write . We live the same life it seems except i have 3 kids that need me right now and struggle with how to deal with them when i tell him to leave.
That alone is enough to stress me out, but be strong !
If you ever want to talk i am here.
gentle
s
~Lisa~
-
Oh jeez... seriously you blow me away more and more with each piece I read of yours. Good luck in both the contests... not that you need it. This was so touching and it really made me think about what it would be like to not only be a military wife but... with a child as well... it's gotta be rough... stay strong, love.
-
-
Thanks for the comment, sis. *blushing*
-
-
i would like to thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
Thank you for the comment. I also look forward to reading more of your work!
-
-
the last stanza of this poem is very powerful, a perfect closing sentence to a flawless poem.
The poem reminds me of a story my momtells me. My parents have been married for 25 years, but seperated for the last 9. My mom left my dad because he was abusive and she feared for her children, all 4 of us. One day we were driving down the hiway and my dad was screaming at her for somthing, she doesnt eve remember what, and she thought to herself "I could open the door and jump to my death, no one would think it was intentional, its an old truck they will think the door just broke. what do I have to live for?" she says thay one of us kids said the word "mommy", and she realized that there were four lives that needher hers.
This poem pulled an emotional cord with me. It takes a very talented poet to be able to write somthing that appeals to an audience such as this appealed to me. Great write my dear friend.
~A.MacEwan -
-
I can definitley relate to your mom in that way, but I know I have my daughter to live for and I will never jeopordize that. Thanks for the comment!
-
-
I feel as if I'm watching your pain unfold before me. You have chosen your words well and there is an economy in them which contradicts the emotions you express.
Take care sweet one
Margaret
-
-
It's hard to let go of someone you care a lot about, even when they are hurting you in a much worse way than physically. Sometimes though, you just have to suck it up for the sake of everyone else. Thanks for the comment and applause!
Tasha
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 13 of 13
