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The smell of dry, old paper

Breathe calmly, your heart at peace,
feel this book underneath your hand
and imagine the smell of dry, old paper,
allow all of your senses to feel it.
Remember the moment.

One day it will be
the old book with slightly worn-out corners
titled with my name.
Touch it slowly, open it,
inhale the love waiting there for you,
always the same, always fresh,
impregnated for eons to come
inside that smell of dry, old paper.

Feel it, feel the moment,
keep the light of smiles in your eyes
and hold me, hold me tight.

Author notes

POM
Theme: To memorize the future

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • trista gold member
    October 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot, but feel it lacks power; something that would really make me sit up and say, "Wow!". I'm not even sure I can pinpoint a problem area, because it's very well written with lovely imagery. The border you've chosen is wonderful, very fitting...and the title is unique, maybe just a tad bit too "wordy" for my tastes. Your use of metaphor is subtle but well executed; I really liked that. This is a wonderful addition to the POM with very little to "critique", and I wish you good luck with it.

    Best wishes,
    ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    October 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A great entry ~

    There is not really too much that I can critique about this write ~

     

    It is not the best....but it is very nice ~

     

    Although, I don't know how your scores are goining to add up just yet either :)

     

    I shall leave my comments to the scoreboard ~

     

    You took me on a great journey with only a few lines ~

     

    The imagery is surreal and the tone is calming, yet a mystery ~

     

    I almost feel as if the story is left untold.....a bit of a draw-back from my view point, but you did get your thoughts across well enough ~

     

    I liked it....not bad Sonja ~

     

    :)

     

    Best of luck to you,

     

     

    Bear ~

     

     

    Title   9.2

    Flow   9.7

    Depth   9.5

    Theme   9.8

    Feelings   9.6

    Grammar   9.2

    Presentation 9.8

    Uncommonness   9.7

    Sit & Ponder Affect   9.6

    Ability to follow Rules   10 

    Bears Score:  96.1

     


  • Nicolette gold member
    September 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love books, I want to hold it in my hands and feel and smell the paper. We are all books of blood and memories and love...even when old and yellowed by time. What a beautiful poem this is and the metaphor so skillfully applied here.... Loved this one and where you took the contest theme to...back into the future.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Ladybug
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a treasure for inside the torn worn out pages on a shelf lies your heart and soul for someone new to pick up and read. this gave me goosebumps
    I hope one day I am good enough to be published.

    Tamara