This street lamp
made of paper,
shows nothing
of road
beyond
its corner's
glare.
Hung lower
here [& now],
like a Wine
Moon dancing
drunk along
horizon,
it seems
larger
than it was.
Author notes
33
In a list
A contest entry
- Harvest Moon by Cat.
800 points, ended October 6, 2007, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Have I commented nefore? THIS IS AWESOME.
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sweetly done
this was my favorite thus far... the way you describe and use imagery... it makes me feel as though i'm actually there, seeing what you're seeing in your mind... and you do it in minimum word use... that's a talend i wish i had... excellent write! please do keep them coming!
Sincerely,
Kris (that's my name!)
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bravo!
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I am so happy you got silver for this - I am doing the 'happy dance' for you now...lol
Congrats
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I am so glad I only got as high as silver. That golden entrant was - as per usual - beyond us all
*does a happy ferret dance*
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i agree with 'stunning' being an accurate description here, gentle, almost fragile moon, delicate and beautiful, this poem is one i would like to dream of being in.
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Short and sweet, or more precisely, simple poetic beauty but nonetheless well deserving of silver.
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very nice such a simple style and yet showing so very much, and leading the reader to even more... excellent...PK
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You know, I read your comment on my poem, and actually I want to return your words to you. This is a stunning poem - definately one of the best in this contest if not THE best, Kate. I've read it a few times and I can only agree with Al's assessment too... you are an excellent poet - and I truly mean that.
~ Nicolette
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This is a wonderful poem, Kate, I love the imagery of the first stanza and I love the 'wine moon dancing drunk'
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Thanks oh judging ones
Now excuse me. I have to help someone remove a misplaced foot
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I would imagine you feel the judges of the contest have the ability to recognize good poetry when they see it or you would not have entered this fine piece here, thanks so much...
al -
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Isn't the sucking up supposed to run the other way?
Oh and I certainly trust you - but not that Mary ... she's a wild crazy you know
She sees bread people! -
well you know- recognizing good poetry is the first step
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such a wonderful vision of the harvest moon- this poem has your unique voice stamped and sealed on it-
i almost think a "the" before horizon.. ?
but either way a great minimalist view of the harvest moon and our own little corners of the world..
m
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I would have given this Gold...
but then, I know how to recognize
good poetry
Love, Lane
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the contest hasn't been judged yet- but thank you for your input...
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feels a little
intoxicating...
nicely done... kind of a drunk driving feel to it?
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or so he thought...
sorry i just had to..
bad grunts girl.... bad...
i couldnt help but feel the
subtlty of sex
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I remember the first time I saw a harvest moon was the first night I spent in Arizona when I was 13 years old. I was in awe of it, the size of it, the color of it, and how low it seemed to hang in the sky, as if too heavy to keep itself up ..burgeoning and burdened.
I like that you capture that here for me. Metaphorically speaking and literally speaking, this is beautiful.
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I hate you and your talent sometimes, you know that?
There is something in your shorter writes that a lot of people strive for. A certain "je ne sais pas", for lack of a better description. Whatever you want to call it, it's stunning (but I wouldn't expect any less).
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This is a beautiful poem. For something seeming very simple it holds much deeper meaning. I love the flow! Outstanding!!!
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I like this one, short, but more than meets the eye..
the here and now, everything seems larger than it really is in the long run..
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here and now is ok
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Gosh Kate... be nice to the little kids.. Damn, it just thumped on whatever-the-heck you call that oragan that pumps blood. Loved it, there is no other way anyone could have completed the image. Kind of like- gradual metamorphosis or looking at something minutely but going through the voyage of growth in between. Streetlight to moon to something too detailed to see or describe[it was like that from the start but here our perspective is different, more clear]
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