Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

light in paper

 

 

This street lamp
made of paper,
shows nothing
of road
beyond
its corner's
glare.

Hung lower
here [& now],
like a Wine
Moon dancing
drunk along
horizon,

it seems
larger
than it was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

33

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Namita silver member
    October 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Have I commented nefore? THIS IS AWESOME.


  • TheRamer
    October 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    sweetly done

    this was my favorite thus far... the way you describe and use imagery... it makes me feel as though i'm actually there, seeing what you're seeing in your mind... and you do it in minimum word use... that's a talend i wish i had... excellent write! please do keep them coming!
    Sincerely,
    Kris (that's my name!)

  • Zayra Yves gold member
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply


  • misselaineous gold member
    October 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    bravo!


  • ardentMarch gold member
    October 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I am so happy you got silver for this - I am doing the 'happy dance' for you now...lol

    Congrats

    • EvilKate gold member
      October 7, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I am so glad I only got as high as silver. That golden entrant was - as per usual - beyond us all

      *does a happy ferret dance*

  • rebeka
    October 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i agree with 'stunning' being an accurate description here, gentle, almost fragile moon, delicate and beautiful, this poem is one i would like to dream of being in.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Short and sweet, or more precisely, simple poetic beauty but nonetheless well deserving of silver.


  • Peteskid gold member
    October 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very nice such a simple style and yet showing so very much, and leading the reader to even more... excellent...PK


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You know, I read your comment on my poem, and actually I want to return your words to you. This is a stunning poem - definately one of the best in this contest if not THE best, Kate. I've read it a few times and I can only agree with Al's assessment too... you are an excellent poet - and I truly mean that.

    ~ Nicolette


  • ardentMarch gold member
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem, Kate, I love the imagery of the first stanza and I love the 'wine moon dancing drunk'


  • EvilKate gold member
    October 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks oh judging ones

    Now excuse me. I have to help someone remove a misplaced foot

  • AJ Morelli gold member
    October 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I would imagine you feel the judges of the contest have the ability to recognize good poetry when they see it or you would not have entered this fine piece here, thanks so much...


    al

    • EvilKate gold member
      October 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Isn't the sucking up supposed to run the other way?

      Oh and I certainly trust you - but not that Mary ... she's a wild crazy you know

      She sees bread people!

    • Cat gold member
      October 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      well you know- recognizing good poetry is the first step

  • Cat gold member
    October 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    such a wonderful vision of the harvest moon- this poem has your unique voice stamped and sealed on it-
    i almost think a "the" before horizon.. ?
    but either way a great minimalist view of the harvest moon and our own little corners of the world..

    m

  • Dalaney gold member
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I would have given this Gold...
    but then, I know how to recognize
    good poetry

    Love, Lane


    • Cat gold member
      October 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      the contest hasn't been judged yet- but thank you for your input...


  • ellipsist
    October 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    feels a little

    intoxicating...

    nicely done... kind of a drunk driving feel to it?


  • Grunts Girl
    October 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    or so he thought...
    sorry i just had to..
    bad grunts girl.... bad...

    i couldnt help but feel the
    subtlty of sex



  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    September 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I remember the first time I saw a harvest moon was the first night I spent in Arizona when I was 13 years old. I was in awe of it, the size of it, the color of it, and how low it seemed to hang in the sky, as if too heavy to keep itself up ..burgeoning and burdened.

    I like that you capture that here for me. Metaphorically speaking and literally speaking, this is beautiful.


  • Friday gold member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I hate you and your talent sometimes, you know that?
    There is something in your shorter writes that a lot of people strive for. A certain "je ne sais pas", for lack of a better description. Whatever you want to call it, it's stunning (but I wouldn't expect any less).


  • freebird88
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem. For something seeming very simple it holds much deeper meaning. I love the flow! Outstanding!!!

  • Rowan gold member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this one, short, but more than meets the eye..
    the here and now, everything seems larger than it really is in the long run..


  • misselaineous gold member
    September 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    here and now is ok


  • dehydrated
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Gosh Kate... be nice to the little kids.. Damn, it just thumped on whatever-the-heck you call that oragan that pumps blood. Loved it, there is no other way anyone could have completed the image. Kind of like- gradual metamorphosis or looking at something minutely but going through the voyage of growth in between. Streetlight to moon to something too detailed to see or describe[it was like that from the start but here our perspective is different, more clear]

1 - 27 of 27