black sky
no warmth
no light
the sun is never seen
up here
darkness, chill
wind sweeps over
the ground
and the rags
they call 'clothes'
crematorium spits out smoke
all day
the furnace never sleeps
fear
the only companion
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/column/2340231
A contest entry
- ANYTHING SHORT by Blooming Poet.
400 points, ended March 7, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Poem Frenzy! by ShadowsMidnightRose.
1050 points, ended April 16, 2008, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Medieval/Historical related poems by TyrannyForestFairy.
1410 points, ended August 12, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very powerful by the use of imagery and description. The line 'crematorium spits out smoke
all day' is indeed vivid with personification.
A brilliant poem once again, great work and good luck in my contest
~Emily~ xx
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wow powerful. fear and so many other emotions remain prevalent in this poem. amazing theme amazng words(if you can't tell i love the word amazing)
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I like the imagery you have captured within the words, and the meaning behind them as well!
The poem looks a tad bit wobbly here and there, but as I noticed this is translated from German to English, I won't keep that in mind when judging.
Translations always reproduce a similar poem, but the original strenght and power weakens because it's not an easy task to keep them as they were originally captured.
My only suggestion I'd like to give is to use maybe a little bit more punctuation - although there's still this thing called poetic liscense huh
Thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
This poem was good. I think it could have been better, but I read below that it was originally written in German so that could be why.
But I think what you wrote about was a great idea. And I could feel what you meant.
Nice job! -
The chill factor was present. Buchenwald, Austwitch, Belsen, each with their own putrid black smoke. "God forgive them, for they know not what they do".
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i felt when reading this that it was trying to rest itself on visuals/imagery. If this is true: I do not feel it has accomplished such an effect. Sometimes simple words can evoke such imagery but they have to express them in a way that carries the poem from beginning to end in a way not to distract the reader, and I felt there was a distraction in how you were telling the "story" (if you will), and I feel it could be worked on in such regard.
Other than that, it's a nice piece but I think it could be better.
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Thanks for taking the time to comment on this piece also, I am taking any advice you have to offer... I originally wrote this in German, so the original might be a bit better... And my history teacher wants it to be read to my fellow students when we are visiting Buchenwald... And I fear they won't like it...
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There is loss in translation; words and phrases do not always equate from one language to the next. Some words do not even exist in some languages, and one has to "paraphrase".
I've translated German to English in the past, it's not an easy task.
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Making me want to cry...
The thought of that place chills me to the bone! 
You wrote about that death camp in such a compelling way. 
I can only imagine that when death came, angels greeted the brave souls with abounding love.
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Black cloud, could be very scary at time, gave you the impression that all are still. And tomorrow will never come.
great write.
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