Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Decaffinated


I’ve had my cup of life
Hands warmed around the mug
Days and dreams mixing in morning’s mist
Sips pulling plans from the air of possibilities.
Energies awakened in early sparks and spangles
The dangling moon content with my plans.

But now, as seasons mount
Reason prevails
All that sailing hope dissipates
As sun, lights and fate
show nothing more
then an emptied mug and lukewarm ground.



    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Hoosierpoet silver member
    June 12
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I've had days like this!

    Moses


  • Lyndon gold member
    December 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    You are still, Jane

    writing excellent free verse. I applaud you.
    One thing ~ I think possessives are not, generally progressive in modern poetry.
    "morning’s mist" => "morning mists" is sibilant enough!
    All the same, a wonderful piece of verse.
    You wrap figurative language around the concrete to present quaint and endearing philosophical moments:
    "I’ve had my cup of life
    Hands warmed around the mug...".
    Beautiful imagistic control.
    Love, Ron.




  • Trellis
    October 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well-brewed metaphorical piece!


  • leo2
    September 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I know this feeling all too well my dear. It just doesn't seem fair that my entire life was spent in pursuit of the 'better things' in life and now I find empty dreams and coffee cups are what I got.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long
    ps. Glad to see your muse is back from vacation.

    • Lyndon gold member
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hello Leo

      There are sunny sides, too.
      Jane still has plans! Ron.


  • MissStranger
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm..this was very interesting!the title strickes from the start but the rest completes it all with a splendid effect in the end!well done indeed!


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Liked the metaphor you have used in this poem, likening life to a cup of coffee and following it from brimming hot to nearly empty and cooling off quickly. Good flow, easy to read and understand, easy to visualize as well.


  • Ashleyxx
    September 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Hey this is really good, I really like it. Good work


  • galfalfa gold member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It's much more then an emptied mug and you know it - let me have a look see over the rim. Ahhhh haaaaa just as i suspected,spiked hot chocolate with remnants of gooey sticky marshmellow and whipped cream
    Gosh Janey, the Seasons mount for all of us, lets go out in a blaze of glory just like Autumn but not for another 40 years or so. We'll be the stubborn leaves that hang on into winter

    bravo on this, enjoyed!

    wil'
    xox


  • Rowan gold member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Sips pulling plans from the air of possibilities."
    lovely alliterations and imagery. That's how I start my day too! Then I go to work and fun plans dissolve to the drudgery/grounds of reality~ lol.

1 - 10 of 10