words harvested
forgotten left
to mold
might have described the moon
bright wane painted with cloud
the weight
of the anxious child
how the hat she bought today
highlights her hair
they deserve a deft hand
familiar with embalming oils
instead only
a blank page left
under a stone at your door
A contest entry
- nothing, but a carnival ... (read the rules first) by A Prophet of 3.
4457 points, ended October 30, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Radical imagery. Deep metaphor.
Your style often reminds me of my own.
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i found a familiar feeling in this that i can really relate to ... almost like (if i could, i would) by these words a drink ...
the simplicity was precise, only saying what needed to be said with powerful emotion in a delicate way ...
brilliantly done hun ... nice work ... *cheers* -
the most frightening thing in the world, for an uninspired person, is watching a blank page while knowing it could be heaven.
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yep...
I like this..
I love what that last line implies..
and the sense of dislocation in the voice.. it gives it an otherworldliness, if that makes sense??
Ethereal but grounded.
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oh, this is wonderful- that moon inspired a lot last night- one of the most brilliant things i've ever seen- this is wonderful poetry
i think someday you will be famous..
m
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wow, this is really wonderful, every stanza/couplet built on a vivid and effective image which lead perfectly to the note and the stone...
i like this poem a lot
al
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This is beautiful, jan...there is something about this poem that just stays with the reader...the visuals so clear, yet somehow "blank" too.
~ Nicolette
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i like the myriad layers in this
the hat stanza is so simple yet somehow profoundly touching
elaine
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i'll come back to leave a much better comment later, suffice to say.... i like this alot Jan...
the tales of life, love and lost things and of course, those hidden things
i'm getting ready for work right now, but was worth stopping for a mo to read this
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