cattle low
as the sun disappears
a cowboy snoozes
Author notes
Image: www.outback-australia-travel-secrets.com
Haiku
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku Overnight #4 by azure85.
600 points, ended September 29, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Review Requested
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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very nice! I liked the relevance of 'low' both for cattle noise and dropping sun. A peaceful feeling of day's end was conveyed. Congrats on the bronze!
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Very Nice
I fou8nd your poem to be very nice and extremely different from others I have read. your wild wild west like theme is what comes to mind after reading this. I like the woridng and ejoyed the flow and depth to the poem. keep up the good work
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SmokinHotWhiteTiger
Thank you again for the wonderful words. I am so very glad that you enjoy my poetry. It is comments like yours that keep mwe writing. Thank you.
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Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering HAIKU & SENRY contest.
In writing haiku we do not use similes "as" or "like."
The poem must stand on its own.
Please feel free to edit and resubmit.
If you do so, im the title and contest name
and I will read and comment.
Love,
liquid -
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liquidmind forever
I agree with you about the use or similes in a haiku, but just using the word as does not mean it is being used as a simile. It is only a simile if a reference or cantract is being made amonst the two phrases. In this case the word as is being used to desribe the time when the cattle are lowing. I am not comparing the cattle lowing to the sun disappearing. -
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Dear Pollycfheck
After re-reading and feeling into this moment, I feel
the need for the absence of "as" but that always remains
the poet's choice.
Thanks again,
liquid
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There's such a serene essence to this haiku, Polly...And the background decoration just feels as though sleeping under a country sky-full of stars.
CONGRATULATIONS on the Bronze-R!
Jo
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Jo
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am very glad that you enjoyed my cowboy haiku.
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A nice western scene, and contentment on the prairie is shown troughout your haiku. Thank you for this haiku, it is very good.
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Susie
Thank you so much for the bronze. When I saw your contest I was watching a rodeo on TV and that is where the idea for this came from.
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I've read cowboy poetry but never cowboy haiku! haha Guess there's a first for everything. Hugs, ♥ Belle
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belle
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I have been known to be like star trek. Going where no man has gone before.
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Great job!
I very much enjoy this one Pollycheck, sounds so realistic after a hard day rounding up cattle. The picture adds to that feeling. Good luck to you in the contest!
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DawnBaby
Thank you so much or stopping by and leaving such nice comments. They are appreciated.
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